yes, earth, human, woman, married, kids, night, bra still on, so uncomfortable, what time is it?

It’s a quarter to two am and my bladder just woke me up. I’ve always had a low capacity bladder and those who have taken road trips with me know that . I woke up and realized that I had just passed out in my bed fully dressed. Well, half dressed, my pants are on the floor , seams like I managed to get those off before falling flat into my bed into a comatose sleep.
I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but when I wake up I’m usually stuck in a dazed mode for a good 30 seconds. That’s 30 seconds of wondering where I am, what part of the day it is, and sometimes even who I am. Then I progressively relocate myself in space and time…” Oh yes, earth, human, woman, married, kids, night, bra still on, so uncomfortable, what time is it? ” This is the exact thought process I go through in the first 30 seconds of my wake. Then of course ” where the heck is Jack?”. I pass out after putting the kids to bed and Jack sees that as a perfect opportunity for some alone time with his second love , his big screen TV. Sometimes I imagine him running downstairs to his tv only to tell her ” she’s finally asleep, we can be together at last”.
It happens often that I wake up this way, half dressed, hair still in a pony tail, makeup still on, dazed and confused at 2 or 3 am and sometimes I go to looking for him. I find him in front of the TV with an almost empty bag of sunflower seeds and a pile of seed shells. Of course he’s fully set up with the laptop on a sports website, the TV leaping between three sport shows, and the smart phone set on the hockey pool details.
And at this time my dilemma on this end is, should I go back to bed or go see what he’s up to?
Now I can hear my mother in law’s voice in my head “Go sit with him for a bit! Keep my son happy!” she does say that. The other day she calls me up in a middle of a hockey game.
“what are you doing?”
– ” I’m working.”
– ” Jack’s watching the game by himself? Go sit with him! Keep my son happy” she says.
So after I hung up, I did as she said, grabbed all my stuff and went downstairs. She’s right, I figured, it’s the playoffs, while others are watching the game with their buddies with a beer in their hand, Poor Jack, father of three, had to put three kids to bed and turn that Frozen movie DVD off before he could watch his game.
So I gather my things and think ” I’ll do my work next to him, she’s right.” I go downstairs, settle down, obviously no eye contact on his part, he was fully into the game, I could’ve choked and he wouldn’t have realized and I know that well because it’s happened before and that wasn’t even a during the playoff season. So that means that now , during a Habs vs Bruins second round Playoff game, I could walk in literally caught on fire with raging flames and he wouldn’t have noticed.
So I sat down next to him, and in the moment that my butt touched that yogurt, milk and marker stained sofa, the bruins score!
I hold my breath waiting for his reaction.
” You had to come down! You jinxed it!”
Now this is love.
So it’s 2 am now, and since there’s nothing I can jinx at this time I’m going to go see what he’s up to.
Actually, he just came up.
He’s probably going to ask his famous question.
” Who you texting?”