Kids are in bed, it’s friday night and all I can think of is my bed.
So this week marks the first year anniversary of Julietalk.com. Already a year has gone by and what a year it was. The other day A1 was eating a fortune cookie when she ran to show me the pile of fortunes she found in that cookie. All said the same thing “Accept the next offer you receive”.
The same week, I received a call from the Unclehood Productions, they want me to host a weekly one hour slot.
I didn’t think about it, all I could think of was that fortune cookie. So I said yes. I’m thinking now perhaps I should’ve thought about it a little before…
So more of my random, unorganized thoughts on everything and anything coming your way…only this time on a Live internet talk show.
It’s out now. I can’t back away from this project, I’m going to have to put my big girl panties on, put my fears aside and go for it.
A3’s up crying. Gotta go!
11:00 pm A3 feeding
12:15 am A1 nightmare wake up
1:47 am A3 up for no reason
2:47 am A3 up for no reason
3:47 am A3 standing up again
4:35 am A1 thinks its morning
5:05 am A2 milk
Alarm set for 6:15 am
Getting ready to go to work…
This too will pass.
Thank goodness I’m young today.
I’m not the only one in this situation, it’s normal , I’m ok, I’m happy.
If you slept last night, be grateful , if you had a warm bed, be grateful, if you have a roof over your head be grateful.
Be grateful, see clearly, be happy.
Baby asleep in mom’s arms, family of four on the beach, kids playing in snow while parent sip on hot chocolate, beautiful clean and organized baby rooms, dinner at the dining room table with the kids… All images that depict the family lives. Or should we say family lies?
In reality the baby’s screaming in his moms arms for the whole night because he has colics and all she can do is wait 10 weeks to 10 months for them to pass, she’s sleepless and hormone packed, her life has just taken a spin and nobody has warned her about any of this.
The family of four on the beach can’t afford to be there in the first place, they went through hell and back trying to pack diapers, formula, food, sand toys, toys, dvds and they are doomed because they forgot to bring the favourite blanket without which baby won’t sleep, mom and dad haven’t had a single moment to themselves, now on top of everything they have to make sure their children don’t eat sand or get sun burns, everyone got diarrhea, and the kids got fever, they visited most of the country’s clinics, and they swore never to take the kids on vacation again yet they’re going to try again every year…. But that one picture they took…. That one moment everything was under control… That’s the pic the whole world get’s to see. Where’s the picture of daddy carrying 8 bags , 4 towels and 2 life jackets, on the burning hot sand while mom pushes the stroller trough the sand shouting ” I think there are lawn chairs available way over there”.
And the kids playing in the snow… Playing for 2 minutes and a half while it took you 20 to dress them. The moment you sit down you’re child is knocking on the door ” snow touched my wrist” because snow will forever get between their glove and jacket sleeve and make you wish you never even bothered.
We don’t know all this until we know, we innocently look at catalogues and see beautiful baby rooms, take the time to set them up while we don’t know that the moment baby gets teeth they’re going to chew that expensive Wooden crib to it’s core, the bed sheets will never ever really match because of the times you are going to change them because of pee and poo stains , the three drawers in the set are not going to be enough and that darling room will look like a plastic bin warehouse by the time you’re done sorting out the 3-6 months, 6-12 months, 12-18 months an have to start all over once you realize that the tag really means nothing about the size and that you always have to eye it.
And dinner at the dining room table … Funny joke! The dining room table might as well be disassembled and stored away for the next 8 years, because the truth is you will be walking around behind them with their supper in your hand trying to get a spoonful through whenever they’re distracted enough. And if they happen to sit at the table there won’t be any room for you because they’ll bring half their toys along with them. If you’re one of those who thinks ” my kids won’t be like that” you’re going to be especially fun to watch as a parent.
It is how it is, and it would be much easier for moms to cope with all of this if they were warned about it .
Lets just stop pretending and just start being.
Be honest, be proud, be happy.
In reality you only need one fan. Yourself. The hardest fan to get. Why are we so hard on ourselves ? Why do we need to hear someone else say that we can?
Whether it’s success in business, love, weight loss or any aspect of life,nobody will want your success as much as you. Nobody really knows what you can do before you do it. Don’t wait for others to tell you that you can or that you’re able. Everybody’s responsible for their own life.
You CAN and you ARE able.
Stop looking around for validation. Just go for it!
You cross someone you know. “Hey how’s it going?” they ask.
How’s it going? You think: I’ve been up for 3 nights straight, my head is pounding since last October, I have to make four back and forth trips to the car every time we go somewhere and that’s only one way, I eat on top of the sink, my main hobbies include taking a child to the Dr. and sometimes I take the wrong child to the wrong Dr.
-“Mam, today was A3’s appointment not A2’s.”
– “I got A2 here; you better lift her shirt and check something, anything! before I go bezerk!”
A3 just woke up. Here we go…
So, how’s it going?
“Going great, thanks” we reply.
Painfully cold morning here in montreal. Went outside for less than five minutes and couldn’t stand it. It’s days like today that remind us to be grateful for a warm bed and a roof over our heads. No matter what problems we have , if you’re able to read this then you live better than 80% of the population.
Be grateful and mindful .
There was a time in my life when 5:52 am meant coming home after a night if partying.
5:52 am today is : I’ve only gotten a couple hours of sleep, just gave A2 fever medication and I’m up thinking about what the heck I’m going to make for them to eat tomorrow considering my fridge is empty. I’m going to have to pull out my Macgyver cooking skills and make full meals out of nothing.
I remember rushing home to make it before 6 am because past 6 am was considered really bad. I remember swiftly unlocking the door so that I wouldn’t wake my parents. But they were up , every single time. Up and oh so mad. Thinking back, I didn’t even realize that I was worrying them, all I perceived was anger and all I cared about was how long they were going to yell at me for it and wether or not they would still be
mad at me the next day.
Oh god, if I gave my parents so much to worry about Karma’s going to take good care of me with 3 daughters.
I would much rather be up at 6 am worrying about details knowing that my children are right here , instead of being up worrying about when they’re going to get home…
I’m suddenly happy with this Monday morning 6:08.
Dear Mom and dad sorry for all the worry I put you through.
Dear karma please go easy on me.
After all, It’s not like my boyfriend got me pregnant before marriage…
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture represents my life perfectly. Three daughters who have taken over everything including the toilet, literally.
Even when we are using the toilet we’re sitting on a dozen of princess stickers. We try and scratch a few off while we’re there but there stuck on pretty hard. Lately we’re potty training A2 and I must say we’re doing pretty bad, making all the classic mistakes, confusing her with pull ups, yelling at her when she has accidents, switching back and forth from underwear to diapers according to where we’re going… We’re failing at this, but at least we’re aware of it….
So I was over at a friend’s house and I noticed they had put up a paper on the bathroom wall where they would stick a sticker every time their child used the potty, it’s a good idea I thought and started implementing the same method at home. Until A2 figured out the concept and would ask to sit on the toilet, do nothing, stick a sticker then go pee behind the couch.
You would think they would learn from seeing us go, I mean if you’ve managed to hold on to some privacy in your marriage then I congratulate you, but know that kids will take all of that away. Privacy? Ha! Forget it!
They watch me change, but the worst is the look on their faces if they happen to see me naked. Oh! And then the questions…
” why do you put hats on your breast?”
I try to avoid changing in front of them but sometimes it’s just inevitable. You have to keep an eye on them all the time, so if you see them, it probably means then can see you back.
There’s absolutely no privacy left in the bathroom, actually quite the opposite, when I have to go I place the high chair right in front of the bathroom door place the baby there and announce ” mommy’ going to the bathroom, I’m right there, nobody panic!”
The only time I make sure to close the door is when I have my period. I really don’t want to have to explain that yet!One day A1 walked over to my room holding a hygienic pad in her hand, she had opened it and said ” I know you stick this on your butt, tell me why.” She knew it was something I was keeping from her, I don’t even know how she figured out that I stuck it anywhere near my butt.
” I’ll tell you when you grow up” I said.
-” no tell me now”
So I lied. ” sometimes when mommies have babies water comes out of their tummies and they wear that so that their underwear doesn’t get wet”
What was I supposed to do?? Tell her the truth?? Ovulation, blood, reproduction??? She’s five and believes in Santa and the tooth fairy!
By the way, tooth fairy’s real. I’ve seen her.
So after my explanation she replied.
-” was that so hard? Did I really have to wait to grow up to hear that?”
I don’t even know what to think at this point, my daughter is five going on fifteen!
Today as I was in the bathroom, two year old A2 walked in, she looked at me and said ” You did pipi in the toilet? Good for you. You want a sticker?”
She then walked over to the drawer. There are no stickers in the drawer I thought, what is she doing? She pulled out a pad, confidently opened it and stuck it on the wall.
All I could think to say was ” thank you”.
I make efforts all day to quiet my mind. I have One of those minds that just races, plans, compares, analyses, studies, questions…. It doesn’t stop . I catch myself actually saying “shut up! ” out loud.
Don’t assume that I’m crazy. I used to be that mind, now I’m the one watching that mind and thinking “sheish it doesn’t stop!” . If you ask me , I’m already one step ahead in the game of life. I am Learning and growing everyday. Becoming more and more conscious of things, mainly about myself. I still have a life time of learning to do, but it’s a start. How did all this start?
Meditation and yoga.
Yoga gurus swear on the importance of daily practice but what they insist on is the importance for parents to practice.
You can not become a better parent, a better wife , better son, better sister, brother…. You can only become a better human being.
I’ve been doing this for almost a year now and it has helped broaden my perspective in ways I can not describe. Only those who know what I’m talking about, know what I’m talking about.
You know what I’m talking about?
9:20 pm. 13 month old A3 is standing up crying in her crib. You would think that the third time around I would know how to handle the situation… Nope, I really don’t.
My business is effort.
What does that mean? It means that all I have to do in this life in order to succeed is make the effort.
Make the effort and things will fall into place. Wishing, praying and positive thinking may or may not be efficient, but your effort is certainly efficient.
Excuses will pour into our thoughts in order to convince us not to do this effort, very valid points will arise proving why the effort should not be put in.
But it is up to us to decide on how bad we want the result.
The bottom line is simple , you are the only one who decides on your actions. God? God is busy with other things and has delegated this responsibility to you. Each one of us is in control of our own life, this is our gift from god.
Once you realize, believe and understand this, not much can stop you.
Looking forward to 2014.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 25,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 9 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete report.