Tag Archives: happy parenting

July 30, 2015 · 11:17 pm

Parenting: Still trying to figure it out.

Kids are finally asleep. I’m sitting here feeling overwhelmed, running the entire day back in my head wondering if I did this parenting thing right. Wondering what I could’ve done differently.images

Sometimes I think it was much easier when they were babies, sure I didn’t know what to do at times: What to do when they have a fever? How to soothe a colic? When to start baby food? But Google always had the answer.

Now I’m faced with much bigger challenges: What to do when my child misbehaves? How to properly discipline my child? When should I be a good cop and when should the bad?

I use to think that I was doing a good job parenting but the more they grow up and I see the fruit of my labor… I wonder.

Parenting is a constant guilt trip.  We get a little short tempered and feel bad right after. If I yell  at them during bed time I lie awake for hours afterwards shaking my head at myself thinking “I could’ve done better; I should’ve been more patient”.

Yes I feel overwhelmed at times, three little girls, with different characters, each with a different need every second. Sometimes I feel short of losing my mind. Now they’re interacting with each other, sometimes horribly clashing other times harmoniously bonding.

In this journey as a parent I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that I cannot make or break my child’s character and that alone helped relieve some pressure.

Another thing I’ve learned from my kids is forgiveness. Have you noticed that you could screw up real bad sometimes but they will always forgive you and accept your smiles and affection? They don’t hold grudges and know how to love unconditionally.

It is known that a parent loves their child more than the child loves the parent, but sometimes I think that the opposite might also be true. Not because we love them less than they love us, but because it seems like they simply know how to love better than us adults.

Perhaps we are all born with the capacity for unconditional love and then life happens…

They’re newer, closer to the way we were created. Life hasn’t taken too much of its toll on them yet. They still love by instinct.

Writing this right now makes me realize that I have no reason to worry for not being a perfect parent, for the children are smarter, purer, and more able than we think.  No need to feel guilty as long as you are aware of yourself and strive to be better.

Next time you think you made a mistake, perhaps lost patience, maybe even threw something or someone…

Just stop, look at them, tell them you’re sorry, hold them and see the unconditional love they have for you.

I feel better now.

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July 3, 2014 · 3:53 am

Take it like a sign.

One of those nights again. I kept tossing and turning until I decided to come downstairs for a while. My mind is starting to race again. I was good for a while, the more I mediate the less my mind races, especially at night. Lately I haven’t been mediating as much. The kids all around all day and by the time they sleep I’m either knocked out fully dressed or forcing myself to stay awake. I have to get back to it. I know the benefits it will bring me.
I like to take things as they come and follow signs life gives me. Sometimes things happen and we need to just go with it, it’s truly futile to resist or keep reacting to something that has already happened. This morning I decided to take the little ones to day care for a few hours in order to pick up the clutter and perhaps get some work done. We took our time, fed them breakfast, clothed them, packed their bags… – – Everybody outside!
– Where’s your sister?
– Where’s your other shoe?
– Don’t eat that ant!
– Ok girls, whoever is ready sit on the bench.
– Mommy’s going to go get the keys.
– Mommy can’t find her keys…
– Oh ya, mommy’s keys are locked inside mommy’s car.
Boo.
Ok we can’t go to daycare today…
Instead, I put them in a wagon and took them to the nearest public pool, they were all three in life jackets, clung to my neck for dear life, after that we got lost on our way home but they think we went on a long stroll. They ate and drank on the way; we discovered a new water front park and a stream. Finally got home where we all napped.
Zzzzzzzzzz
Kinda glad I locked my keys in the car.
We sometimes get caught up in our routines and forget our priorities. Maybe my house is still cluttered but I know that I went all out on the parenting scale today.
Take the time to be with your kids. The house chores can wait.

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April 15, 2014 · 1:12 am

Love is happy and happy is free .

I don’t know if it’s the raging hormones , the exhaustion or maybe the lack of outings, but I’m just obsessed with my children. I don’t know if it’s the love they have for me or the amount of love that pours out of my heart for them that surprises me more. I never thought I could love so much or that I was worthy of this much love.
I’m with them all day, and the moment I’m away I’m looking at pictures and videos of them and missing them. I don’t know what nature does to us, but I know that when I became a mother my world changed, my perception shifted and I grew everyday into a different person. Sure this sounds mushy gushy but I just can’t help myself.
I’m fully aware that one of the most annoying things can be parents who don’t stop talking about their kids…
All is good in right doses.
I don’t know, sometimes I just get overwhelmed by the whole situation. Nobody is never fully prepared to become a parent, and society doesn’t help by omitting all the real details of it. The last week of my pregnancy with A1 I kept asking :” Are they really going to let us bring the baby home?”, ” Are they really going to leave us alone with the baby ?”. I had so much mental blockage and was so not ready for what was coming. My circumstances we’re kind of special but that’s another story for another time.
Tonight I’m just in love.
There’s nothing more to this life than potential happiness . Every minute we spend not being happy is a minute wasted. Gone forever.
Be happy, seek love.
Love is just a way towards happy .
Happy is free.
Doesn’t really matter if everybody doesn’t get you, doesn’t matter what car you drive, doesn’t matter that your boss is an a-hole.
All that matters is how you feel in this moment. And only you and your thoughts can control how you feel.
Start by being happy and all will fall into place.
Feeling so blessed. How can not want to have more children?
Perhaps I should wake Jack up…

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March 11, 2014 · 2:43 am

Chicken Boobs: daily realities.

What’s these kids’ obsession with lifting up shirts and poking belly buttons ? Sure it’s cute, but these kids have no boundaries. They don’t understand that it might be ok when
we’re home playing on the couch, but when we’re in public mama doesn’t want the world to see her new 3 x baby belly. My poor belly button who use to be a inny has been so stretched and pushed during three pregnancies that it’s lost in it’s identity and has now found itself to be an outy that’s inside.
I have a girlfriend who has a belly button like that and when we were younger I would always tell her how I thought it was super sexy. So life plays this funny joke on me and flips my belly button inside out and then adds three kids poking at it daily just to remind me to just be grateful for what i have, because now I have the outty inny and there’s nothing sexy about it!
As thin as I get, as much weight as I loose post pregnancy, my body will maintain proof of motherhood. I have to embrace this. Just like war scars. It makes us who we are, signs of life, adventure, wisdom…
I’m just trying to convince myself here.
Who are we kidding. It’s bye bye bikini forever….
Then again, why would I be afraid of a bikini on the beach when my children have exposed me in clinic waiting rooms, at school, in restaurants and everywhere else we go. ” Why do you let them?” One might ask. I know better than to resist the shirt lift. If you stop them they’ll go straight for the bra. You’re sitting there talking to someone while your child is pulling down your shirt looking for your bra and then putts their hands right in there. Right in the middle, and then they wiggle their hands to get more depth, to get really deep in there. I think they like the heat, like baby chicks under their mommy chicken.
And we just sit there carrying on the conversation like normal with an exposed belly and little hands down our shirts. And we’re afraid of bikinis…pffft!

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February 21, 2014 · 7:50 pm

More, More, More.

We all want the best for our children. The best school, the best education. We want them to be smart, we teach them and encourage them to do educational activities, Extracurricular activities, dance, ballet, chess, soccer. We want them to be fit, fast and athletic. We want them to look good, we take time to pick out their clothes, we buy them things even if we can’t afford it for ourselves. We want everything for them, everything we never had.
We would give them everything we have, we try our best to do this right , to keep them happy.
But lately I’ve been wondering if we’ve been focussing on the right things. Maybe there’s more we should focus on.
Are they caring enough? Are they companionate? Have we thought them empathy? Are they generous? Are they friendly?
With technology at an all time peak and human interaction at an epic transformation, I wonder everyday what I could do more to teach them to be more.
More grateful, more mindful, more human.

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February 6, 2014 · 11:14 pm

A mother of three, now back at work.

A mother of three, now back at work.

After two years of maternity leave, I am back at work and so far it is a complete disaster. Kids keep me up all night and by the time quiet sets in my alarm clock kicks in to remind me that it’s another day of go go go! Exhaustion and lack of sleep have turned my little brain into mush, and it’s starting to show in my work and everywhere else for that matter.

I drove my daughter to school the other day, we were late so I had to sign her in.

Name: A1

Reason of late arrival: Her baby sisters kept us up all night.

Date:

I paused for a while.

“Excuse me” I asked the secretary, “What date are we?”.

“The 4th” she replied.

So I wrote 4, and then stopped. I thought really hard before I said:

“Excuse me. What month are we?”

She looked at me for a while before she replied: “February!”

So I wrote 02, and then I stopped. And now the year; I wiggled the pen around to buy some thinking time. I just went blank. You know when you wake up from your sleep and you experience a short time of complete blank, when you don’t know if it’s day or night and where you’re going or where you’re coming from, just complete nothingness…I was there, except it was in the middle of the day and I wasn’t in bed. I just stood there, until the secretary worriedly said “2014?!”

Oh yes. I forgot.

Just this week, I sent 3 e-mails to colleagues, then got the “You forgot the attachment” reply. I showed up to a meeting on Monday, just to be told the meeting was Thursday and I got 2 parking tickets this week for not having my parking pass. It didn’t help that we keep switching cars for car seat baby drop off reasons, and my little post-it saying “Sorry,I forgot my pass today” stuck on my windshield didn’t do much for me.

I’m completely lost all the time, between work, dr’s appointments, school projects and due bills, I’m ready for an assistant.This is my reality now, many moms are doing this, we work all day, then pick up the kids and start a second shift, feed them, play with them, bath them, put them to bed…

I usually pass out fully clothed, bra, socks, makeup. I wake up hours later, get up, change, wash my face and go back to bed, only to start all over again a few hours later. I still need some getting used to, but all I can say is, if I thought the house was a mess before, well now it looks like a hurricane went through! Sink is beyond full, school bags and toys everywhere, laundry basket invasion. But I’m not stressing over them. I’ll get to it when I can.  If you’re in this situation, know that you’re not alone. Just take it day by day, moment by moment, don’t look back and don’t look forward, just now. Simply be, and take the time to play and laugh.

Ok enough blogging for tonight, for once that I’m not knocked out I should go give Jack some attention.

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January 6, 2014 · 6:19 am

5:52 am my boyfriend got me pregnant.

5:52 am.
There was a time in my life when 5:52 am meant coming home after a night if partying.
5:52 am today is : I’ve only gotten a couple hours of sleep, just gave A2 fever medication and I’m up thinking about what the heck I’m going to make for them to eat tomorrow considering my fridge is empty. I’m going to have to pull out my Macgyver cooking skills and make full meals out of nothing.
5:59 am.
I remember rushing home to make it before 6 am because past 6 am was considered really bad. I remember swiftly unlocking the door so that I wouldn’t wake my parents. But they were up , every single time. Up and oh so mad. Thinking back, I didn’t even realize that I was worrying them, all I perceived was anger and all I cared about was how long they were going to yell at me for it and wether or not they would still be mad at me the next day.
Oh god, if I gave my parents so much to worry about Karma’s going to take good care of me with 3 daughters.
I would much rather be up at 6 am worrying about details knowing that my children are right here , instead of being up worrying about when they’re going to get home…
I’m suddenly happy with this Monday morning 6:08.
Dear Mom and dad sorry for all the worry I put you through.
Dear karma please go easy on me.
After all, It’s not like my boyfriend got me pregnant before marriage…

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January 5, 2014 · 10:11 pm

A Sticker.

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They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture represents my life perfectly. Three daughters who have taken over everything including the toilet, literally.
Even when we are using the toilet we’re sitting on a dozen of princess stickers. We try and scratch a few off while we’re there but there stuck on pretty hard. Lately we’re potty training A2 and I must say we’re doing pretty bad, making all the classic mistakes, confusing her with pull ups, yelling at her when she has accidents, switching back and forth from underwear to diapers according to where we’re going… We’re failing at this, but at least we’re aware of it….
So I was over at a friend’s house and I noticed they had put up a paper on the bathroom wall where they would stick a sticker every time their child used the potty, it’s a good idea I thought and started implementing the same method at home. Until A2 figured out the concept and would ask to sit on the toilet, do nothing, stick a sticker then go pee behind the couch.
You would think they would learn from seeing us go, I mean if you’ve managed to hold on to some privacy in your marriage then I congratulate you, but know that kids will take all of that away. Privacy? Ha! Forget it!
They watch me change, but the worst is the look on their faces if they happen to see me naked. Oh! And then the questions…
” why do you put hats on your breast?”
I try to avoid changing in front of them but sometimes it’s just inevitable. You have to keep an eye on them all the time, so if you see them, it probably means then can see you back.
There’s absolutely no privacy left in the bathroom, actually quite the opposite, when I have to go I place the high chair right in front of the bathroom door place the baby there and announce ” mommy’ going to the bathroom, I’m right there, nobody panic!”
The only time I make sure to close the door is when I have my period. I really don’t want to have to explain that yet!One day A1 walked over to my room holding a hygienic pad in her hand, she had opened it and said ” I know you stick this on your butt, tell me why.” She knew it was something I was keeping from her, I don’t even know how she figured out that I stuck it anywhere near my butt.
” I’ll tell you when you grow up” I said.
-” no tell me now”
So I lied. ” sometimes when mommies have babies water comes out of their tummies and they wear that so that their underwear doesn’t get wet”
What was I supposed to do?? Tell her the truth?? Ovulation, blood, reproduction??? She’s five and believes in Santa and the tooth fairy!
By the way, tooth fairy’s real. I’ve seen her.
So after my explanation she replied.
-” was that so hard? Did I really have to wait to grow up to hear that?”
I don’t even know what to think at this point, my daughter is five going on fifteen!
Today as I was in the bathroom, two year old A2 walked in, she looked at me and said ” You did pipi in the toilet? Good for you. You want a sticker?”
She then walked over to the drawer. There are no stickers in the drawer I thought, what is she doing? She pulled out a pad, confidently opened it and stuck it on the wall.
All I could think to say was ” thank you”.

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January 5, 2014 · 9:22 pm

You know what I’m talking about?

I make efforts all day to quiet my mind. I have One of those minds that just races, plans, compares, analyses, studies, questions…. It doesn’t stop . I catch myself actually saying “shut up! ” out loud.
Don’t assume that I’m crazy. I used to be that mind, now I’m the one watching that mind and thinking “sheish it doesn’t stop!” . If you ask me , I’m already one step ahead in the game of life. I am Learning and growing everyday. Becoming more and more conscious of things, mainly about myself. I still have a life time of learning to do, but it’s a start. How did all this start?
Meditation and yoga.
Yoga gurus swear on the importance of daily practice but what they insist on is the importance for parents to practice.
You can not become a better parent, a better wife , better son, better sister, brother…. You can only become a better human being.
I’ve been doing this for almost a year now and it has helped broaden my perspective in ways I can not describe. Only those who know what I’m talking about, know what I’m talking about.
You know what I’m talking about?

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January 5, 2014 · 1:37 am

This “situation” lasted for exactly 2 hours

9:20 pm. 13 month old A3 is standing up crying in her crib. You would think that the third time around I would know how to handle the situation… Nope, I really don’t.

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December 28, 2013 · 9:59 pm

Part 1: Saturday Night Special

He watches the hockey game while I watch the baby monitor. I’m watching the Saturday night special, a crying baby that refuses to sleep. Oh wait a minute, that can’t be the Saturday night special because this happens every night!
I’m writing this post on my phone and Jack just asked :”who are you writing to for this long?”. He thinks I’m texting someone and Is asking questions. Keeping an eye out… Isn’t that cute…
A little bit of possessiveness can be a good thing as long as it doesn’t turn into ridiculous jealousy.
The other day I posted a status about how I was about to lose it, maybe I can find the post.

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As soon as I posted that I got a text from a couple of my girlfriends, we’re coming to take you for a drive. As I’ve previously mentioned, sometimes I’m kidnapped late nights and taken for drives in the rich neighbourhoods to watch the big houses or find a perfect waterfront spot to chit chat. That night, when they brought me back home Jack was already asleep, so I just went to bed. Usually, if Jack’s asleep not much can wake him up, so I just got into bed, the moment I was in there I heard …
Jacks asking who I’m texting again. And now A2’s up yelling “I pooped!”. I gotta go.

 

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December 26, 2013 · 4:26 am

3:37 am to 4:24 am.

3:37 am . I’m lying in bed wide awake. What’s the problem? My mind. It’s racing and thinking of anything it can think of, calculating, planning, organizing… I can’t get it to stop! Usually when I’m this way in the middle of the night I get
up and go for a hot shower, I clear my thoughts relax and come back to bed. But today, even in the shower, I was just standing there, thinking and thinking!
A3’s crying, gotta go.

Ok I’m back. 13 month old A3 still wakes up several times a night, when I went into her room she was sitting In her bed and was startled when I walked in. I was trying to be quiet to not wake the other two but I should’ve given her a heads up, next time I’ll wiggle the doorknob or something. I scared the poor thing !
The other day, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom , on my way past the mirror, I stopped and got really up close to it, checking out the evolution of my acne when suddenly I see, in the reflection, a small shadow standing in the doorway . My heart stopped I turned, it was A1 just standing there, “The Ring” style, with some her hair in front of her face.
” Mommy? what are you doing?” She gently asked.
What am I doing? What are YOU doing!?
She just needed to use the bathroom.
My heart was still beating fast even several minutes after the fact!
Poor A3 , I just did the same thing to her and just out of the shower too, with wet hair! She hardly ever sees me with wet hair… I picked her up and hugged and kissed her, I couldn’t just put her back to sleep like I usually do, this was my apology. I decided to change her diaper, I usually don’t change diapers in the night because that tends to wake them up more, but she deserved this one. The whole time she was starring straight into my eyes. Sometimes I feel like she can see into my soul. Has it ever happened to you to be stated at by a child, in a bus or grocery store? They just lock eyes with you and don’t let you go. I decided to put on a smile , and when I did , she did too. I’m so blessed to have little angels smile at me in the middle of the night. Little angels with mismatched socks.
Which reminds me , I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer again!
I put her back in bed, then went in to check on the others. My blissful rounds, I go in and caress their faces and backs so that they can feel my presence. Jack taught me this. “Let them feel you in their sleep, let them know you’re there ” he said once and I do it every night ever since.
Sure I’ve got a million things to think about but I’ll just have to make time to think another time. My mind is not racing anymore. I’m just here, in this moment, with my family.
Now , I can sleep.
Goodnight.

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December 15, 2013 · 10:19 pm

Kissing Idiots

 

Sunday night, kids are finally in bed and Jack just finished watching the game. I just finished picking up some of the stuff and prepped for tomorrow morning. The house is not too chaotic but it’s still pretty bad, there’s stuff everywhere. This is the way were most functional. When people come over we pull an illusion stunt where nothing appears to the naked eye and the house looks clean, but in reality, everything is hidden.  We take all of the laundry baskets and hide them in our closet. When I say laundry baskets, I’m not talking about one, two or even three. Right this moment there are six or seven laundry baskets full of clean clothes that need to be sorted, folded and put away. We’ve run out of actual baskets and started using empty diaper boxes.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t know, maybe so you can stress less when you see your own piles of unfolded laundry.

I’m sitting in the living room, looking at 2/3 of our Christmas tree. This year we decided to only put up 2 out of 3 parts up.

Jack’s arguing with me right now… something about diapers in the trash, and tomorrow being garbage day… and “you know it will stink if it stays there the whole week…” I don’t even know what he’s talking about… I just say “Sorry babe, you’re right” and all of my problems disappear.

I’m not just saying… he’s probably right for real…I’ve learned to be more than open towards that possibility. Jack and I argue a lot, we fight to the death. We can scream and shout, anything it takes to express ourselves, but our arguments never have any consequences. By no consequences I mean, after we’re done arguing we don’t treat each other any different than when we haven’t argued.

He’s back…arguing again…jeez! What is it this time… the habs must’ve lost, he needs emotional support. A man after a bad game is like a girl that’s PMS-ing.

Again, no consequence arguing, that means you argue, then resume to your normal relationship. No grudges, no resentment, no bitterness, no drama and no time apart! It’s great to know that you can fully express yourself without it affecting the relationship. It’s happened once that we we’re deciding on which movie to download to watch the same night, during the decision process we got into one of these fights… I don’t remember what it was about but I just know we we’re yelling, cutting each other off, using the words “ you always” (which is the worst thing you can do) basically it was pretty bad until Jack yelled “STOP!” then said “ Can we choose the movie first and continue the argument later, so that the movie can at least start loading.” So I sat down and we normally conversed about the movie we wanted to watch, he clicked the Download button and then said “Ok, continue” and we started fighting again. And when it was over, we watched the movie.

It’s normal to argue, a relationship is never easy, so why make it harder with consequences. If I went straight to bed after each argument and he stayed up alone watching TV, the argument would’ve had doubled its negative impact.

It’s hard at first and you do have to swallow some of your pride, but it’s well worth it.

-“You’re an idiot! Did you know that?!?!”

-“Yes, now come and give this idiot a kiss”

Be caring, be forgiving, be happy.

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December 6, 2013 · 10:26 pm

Lost: 7 days of my life. Reward if found.

Kids are asleep and Jack is out for the night. I can’t sit in the TV room because I had the couches washed today and they’re still wet. The couches were in dire need of a wash, so is the rest of the house and each of us for that matter. So since I can’t sit in the family room I’m in the living room with my laptop. I tried watching shows but nothing can keep my attention or interest. In times like these I always end up looking at family pictures. I take many pictures, non-stop, all the time. Whenever something happens I run for the camera, “Again, the tourist!” complains Jack. But then, a few months later when I sit him down and show him the pictures and some of the video footage I have, his heart melts and he thanks me for recording all of it.

 Earlier when I was watching pictures from last year’s summer, I realized how the children had grown in such little time. I realized how much things have changed from one year to another. I realized it’s all right here in front of me, everything I could ever want, and everything I could ever wish for. Life is just unfolding and all I have to do is take it in and enjoy. How could I have been anxious, stressed or nervous? How could I have been distracted by petty little problems? How could I have let outside circumstances affect my mood, when all that matters is booming right in front of my eyes?

I had a hard week, filled with all kinds of emotions. Now, I feel guilty and filled with regrets.  I realize that I wasted my time feeling that way. I shouldn’t have let these circumstances affect me. I’m stronger than this. Nobody is going to give me my week back, it’s forever gone. How much more time are we going to waste on bad feelings and resentment. Every moment we spend feeling oppressed, jealous, sad or mad, is a lost moment.  To be happy is our one true life purpose and everyday away from happiness is one more day without a purpose.

So how do we get to our happy place? We’ve talked about this before. Start with gratitude, it doesn’t do the whole job but it definitely sets you up for it. I’ll start. I am grateful for this lesson, for now I will try to waste less time away from happy, no matter what the circumstance. Happiness comes from within, and therefor can never really be lost.

 

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September 5, 2013 · 10:43 pm

Futile vs Futile: A toilet story

Kids were put to bed a few minutes ago and I’m sitting in my bed.

I can hear my on heart beating and my breath weighing heavier and heavier. Sheer exhaustion.

I’m at a point where I could sleep anywhere anytime if you gave me the reassurance that the kids are taken care of. Actually, I take that back.

Any reassurance is never enough unless we’re the ones tending to them isn’t it?

Never a moment of peace…I’m not complaining, I’m just describing.

I’m too tired for structure so I’m just going randomly jump from one topic to the next (as usual)…I’m the shame of the blogging community…I know.

But seriously, who else shamelessly tells you what happens to them on the toilet…

Isn’t it the worst thing when you have to go and you’re not home ? I mean go…#2. I know someone who can’t do it unless they’re home. They’ll drive home no matter what! I find that to be risky business. You should avoid long stretches of road, speed bumps and potholes in that state…

Driving home is a little over the top, but trying to be discreet about it isn’t. There are various tactics used to maximise discretion. You can try to pick the furthest bathroom without going too far. If you go too far you’re going to raise suspicions. Once you’re in there you should assess the 4th sense situation. No one’s seeing dead people… I’m talking about smell.

Girls’ smell like potpourri and/or roses of course.

You try and locate a window, maybe find some air freshener. Actually, I don’t recommend the air freshener per se because then you’re somewhat giving yourself away. If you walk into a bathroom and it smells like freshly sprayed air freshener, then you know the previous user definitely has a secret. The window is your best bet unless it’s facing people.

Why would a bathroom window be facing anywhere where there could be people? Don’t they think of these things when they build homes?

I’ve been seen on the toilet by a fireman.

Whaaa?

No he didn’t break the door open and save me from wild flames while I was on the John . Though that would’ve been bitter sweet… Actually the big wide open bathroom window was facing the neighbour’s roof, which happened to be on fire. You get the drift…

So all this to say, that if you have children, all these discretion tactics are completely futile.

Futile! You see Jack? I’m using the word in the right context this time. One time Jack caught me misusing the word “futile”. I use to think that the word futile was meant to describe a bad smell. Like, “Ouf! That was futile!” What’s ironic is that this word only came up in this post that is turning to be mostly about bad smells.

Why would I tell the world that I didn’t know the meaning of a simple word like futile?

Don’t you know me by now?

If you judge me, that makes you a person who judges.

What were we saying? Oh ya, fuuuuutile.

So you assess the situation, discreetly head for the bathroom, locate the window, make sure there’s nothing on fire, do your deed and try to make it quick.

When suddenly… you hear your child.

– “Where’s my mom?”

I swear these kids have a talent for extreme accuracy in worst timing.

– “Where’s my mom? Does anyone know where my mom is?”

At this point everyone’s actively thinking about your whereabouts.

You’re child gets worried and frantically starts looking for you. Yelling “MOM!!!???!” in every room.

Jeez! What am I supposed to do right now? Yell back from the toilet?

I’m just going to hope she’ll forget about me.

Ya right.

People start suggesting locations and then someone gets it. “Maybe she’s in the bathroom.”

Thank you kind Samaritan.

Your child quickly locates the bathroom and starts pounding on the door.

Yelling “MOM ARE YOU IN THERE?!!”

You try to hold back your real emotions and answer with the softest voice. “Yes honey…”

It all stops.

Finally.

Is she gone?

– “OPEN THE DOOR!”…

– “I’m not going to open the door, mommy will be out in a minute, now go play”

– “No! Open the door!”

What was I thinking saying “go play”? That never ever works, why would it work now when I really need it to. THINK!

Ok I got it.

-“How about you go hide and I’m going to come find you when I get out”

– “OK!”

And she runs off.

You know everyone heard you and therefor know that you’re in the bathroom. The situation can still be saved. If you come out within a reasonable time from this incident you can still stay below the radar.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

She’s back! Pounding on the door!

– “MOM?”

Why yell so much? I’m on the other side of the door not on the end of an overseas call from the 70’s!

– “WHAT?!”

– “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Oh gosh…no please.

– “MOM? ARE YOU MAKING A POOP?”

What can you do at this point? Answer? You better, because if you don’t they’re just going to keep repeating the question louder every time.

– “Yes honey, now go hide.”

I hear her footsteps getting further and further.

That was interesting. Glad it’s over. Could’ve been worse I guess.

“It’s a normal thing, not a big deal” I’m thinking, trying any consolation I can have.

Until I hear her voice in the distance.

– “EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY! I FOUND MY MOM, SHE’S MAKING A POOP IN THAT BATHROOM.”

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August 22, 2013 · 10:33 pm

Bed time: A mind war

It’s almost 9:30 pm. 23 month old A2 is standing up wailing in her crib. 5 year old A1 who shares the bedroom is narrating what’s happening and A3 just woke up by the chaos.

Beautiful.

It’s these moments that keep me in peace.

A2 just tossed her blanket and pacifier out of her crib again. I tried explaining to her that if she tosses them again, she won’t get them back… but we both know that she won’t sleep without them. So this is another mind game.

She threw them out, again, and she’s still crying. I tried taking them for a while. She cried… I held on to them for a few minutes then gave them back. That will work, I hoped.

Well it didn’t. She tossed them out within the same second and is still crying.

I went back to my chair without picking them up. And here I am. I’ve written about the chair before. I have a chair set up outside their bedroom, where I sit until they fall asleep. It’s been a while though. They’ve been good lately and didn’t require me to sit here until they fell asleep. But A2’s getting close to the crazy two’s and so I’m back here again.

It’s been a few minutes, I’m wondering if I should get up and hand her the pacifier and blanket just yet. Her cries are sounding more and more tiresome, with yawning intervals.

I got up and handed them to her, came back to my seat. I talked to her…I shouldn’t have talked to her.

She just threw them out again!

She wins this round, again.

Why don’t I just yell at her?

Because then I would teach her that yelling is a mean of communication that I use.

Because then she will fall asleep with fear having been her last emotion of the day.

Because then I would have put my child to bed in anger.

I’m hoping there’s a better solution.

I’ll figure it out…eventually.

This isn’t working.

A1 just suggested “call dad.”

Ya, call Jack and have him do the dirty work…

Ok one more try…

I tried the utter most tenderness. I went in, didn’t say a word picked her up, held her tight, kissed her, cleaned her face from tears, leaned down with her, she reached for her blanket and pacifier. I stood up, still not saying a word, I pointed to my cheek, she reached in and gave me a kiss. Then I pointed to her crib, placed her in. Sung her a lullaby and walked out.

Went back to my chair.

By the time my butt touched the seat …

She was already up and bawling again.

That was a complete fail.

Jack just came up. He gave it a go…

He tried tenderness, some discipline, yelled a little, played a little, danced a little…

Still a no go.

He leaves.

We should make them pay for tickets at this point, because we’ve become a show!

Ok I’m desperate; it’s been over 40 minutes. I know she’s tired.

I take out my phone and go online. Search for an Armenian Lullaby. I play it and go back to my seat.

She stopped.

This song is really beautiful.

She’s sleeping.

Unbelievable!

The power of music…

They’re sleeping in peace, no one got mad at another, no anger, no fear, no guilt.

Just love and music.

Ah… now that this is done, I should start with my chores… I’ll rest when I’m old.

Goodnight.

P.S Listen to this song, it will make any man, woman or child give in to slumber.

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August 20, 2013 · 5:04 pm

Tomato crime scene

Today, A2 came home from day care with two really large tomatoes. She had picked them herself from the daycare’s teacher’s garden. I can just imagine the fit she threw in order for them to let her pick them. She comes home and orders me “open !”.

I just had time to wash them when she grabbed one of them and sunk her teeth in them. She has my teeth… That means she can do a lot of damage.
Her face was covered in that tomatoes juices, it was dripping down to her chin and into her shirt. That’s how food ends up in our children’s diapers. You open up their diapers and find out what they’ve eaten that day. I’m not talking about the poop, I’m talking about the food you find, as is. It’s like a buffet it there .
After she was done with that identity challenged fruit or vegetable , the house was covered in tomato juice and seeds. Me and my mom were walking around the house with rags in our hands looking for tomato crime scenes.
Sometimes there was even a blood trail leading up to the scene.
Once we got her face, the stairs, the carpet and the couches all cleaned up me and my mom were sitting and laughing at it all, when my mom said to me” wipe you nose, you have something.”
I must admit I didn’t go for a tissue and went straight for it.
It.
It, was a tomato seed.

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July 2, 2013 · 10:13 pm

The Peasant and the Queen

It is not enough that there are babies everywhere in this house, but the babies have their own babies. Baby dolls, which have their own strollers, diapers, bottles, car seats, clothes, pacifiers, beds and even high chairs. A good friend of mine wanted to buy A1 a baby doll play pen… “Please don’t do that! I beg you” I said, thank goodness she listened.

Instead she bought her a treasure chest filled with different princess dresses.  A1 loves it; she puts on a princess dress the second she gets home from school.

Jack seriously voiced his concern about this today. “We have to do something, this is not normal” he said.

I’m pretty sure it’s normal, but I do agree that she needs to learn to be a little tougher. She walks around in dresses and requires us to adress her as “Queen A1”…and we do .

“Dinner is served, my Queen”

And she walks into the kitchen, wearing a tiara, walking on the tip of her toes, holding her dress up with the tip of her fingers and behind her follows wobbling A2, barefoot, with marker stains all over her face and clothes.  The Queen and the Peasant.

They both sit at the dinner table and the circus starts!

Feeding A1 requires an incredible talent of persuasion and negotiation.

Me: Ok, three more bites.

A1: No! One!

Me: Ok then, you eat all of it.

A1: No No!

Me: Then it’s three.

A1: No! Five!

Me: Five is a bigger number than three!

And we laugh together. Those really are the moments that make it all worth it.

Feeding A2 on the other hand, requires two spoons, incredible speed and a cleaning crew.

A3 is usually strapped onto me in a baby carrier during all of this. She eats after them. Feeding A3 requires a lab suit and a face mask to protect you from all the spitting, combined with a sword and shield to fight back A2 who comes with force for the baby food.

As if all of this is not enough, today we put in A1’s kindergarten graduation show’s DVD in during supper. Her graduation show, during which I had to hide my face behind A2’s head who was sitting on my lap. I was hiding because I got so emotional and  was crying non-stop, uncontrollably.  I was even crying when other kids were on stage. Graduations are truly bitter sweet. I’m gonna cry now…

So we decide to put in this DVD during supper today, you would think I had gotten it all out of my system that day…wrong! I started crying again. So today during supper time I had tears rolling down my cheeks and a quivering lip all the while negotiating with A1, chasing A2 and carrying A3.

A real Circus!

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