Tag Archives: reality blog

Night After Night, Day After Day

Written Tuesday night.

It’s 9:30 pm and I woke up 5 minutes ago on the floor of my kids’ bedroom. It was 8:30 when I took A1 and A2 upstairs for bed, A3 was already asleep, they brushed their teeth then fought over the stool to reach the sink. We settled that by seating one child on the steps of the bathtub “look there’s water here too, you can brush your teeth here”, of course they got water everywhere and wet their socks, we lost more time trying to find the perfect pair of socks because two year olds feel the little strings touching their toes and only one out of six pairs of will do. Finally get them in their room, ever since we moved A3 out of the walk in closet A1 and A2 have been sharing a room. They get in bed and then “please stay a bit”, they always ask me to stay and lie down for a while, and so I do. I must admit, as tired as I may be, that is one my most blissful moments of the day, that and giving A3 her last bottle of the day while sitting on the rocking chair.

I make such an effort to try and seize the moment, but it can be hard. Sometimes I watch old videos and I wonder where my mind was and how I missed what was happening right in front of my eyes. Lately, when I recognize a moment, I try to capture it in my mind with the most details possible from visual details to thoughts and emotions.

Last time I did this was a few weeks ago, we took the kids to the park and there was so much snow yet the swings were still up. We put A3 and A2 in the baby swings and A1 and I were on the regular swings. Jack was pushing the little ones, and all were singing and shouting. It was just one of these perfect moments. I grew in a house right across a park, and so I’ve spent a lot of time on a swing, even as a teenager it was where I went to think. So one day I’m 16, going oh so high, holding tightly onto the chains, closing my eyes, imagining that I am flying. And when I open my eyes, 15 years have passed and I’m still on the swing, except this time I am surrounded by these children, and this wonderful man, it is a beautiful sunny day and life is beautiful.

Once again I have shifted off topic and don’t even know what the initial story is, I need a moment to go back and read…

Oh ya, putting the kids to bed… oh this is going to be a long post….

So they ask me to stay, then A2 asks for a story, always the same story, the three little pigs and always the same part, when the wolf burns his butt going down the chimney. She doesn’t want to hear the rest, only that part, so we start at “the two little pigs ran into their pig brother’s house of bricks…” once that’s done, she always asks for another story, and it’s always the same one “goldilocks and the three bears” and always the same part, she only wants to hear about how goldilocks broke baby bear’s chair. Come to think of it she only likes the burning and breaking… what the heck? How did I never realize?

So then when story time is over I try to leave but they ask me to stay some more. And how can I refuse, one day they’ll be teenagers asking me to close the door on my way out of their room. So I stay a bit more, and sometimes I fall asleep. And this time, I fell asleep and forgot that I’m at the edge of my daughter’s bed drooling on a pink and purple lady bug pillow. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just know I woke up on the floor. I got up and started heading for the door when A2 asked “where are you going?” now you might think of me as a hypocrite, but as much as I love being with my kids, sometimes I have to put a limit. So I told her a little white lie. “Mommy’s going to the bathroom to do caca, and I’ll b back when I’m finished”. Of course I used caca so that she doesn’t expect me back in 30 seconds and hopefully falls asleep while waiting for me. A1 clearly understands this concept and is aware that it’s a lie to keep A2 from throwing a fit, we’ve had a talk about it. “You know when mommy says that she’s going to the bathroom and that she’ll be back? Well, truth is…”

It’s a similar scenario every night ever since I’ve been back at work. By the time we finish work, pick up the kids, feed them, change them and bathe them, we are finisheeeeeed. I usually wobble out of the girls’ bed room after they’ve finally fallen asleep and literally crash in my bed only to wake up a few hours later to remove my bra or socks and pass out again until that dream crushing alarm starts again at 5:15 am. Day after day, night after night.

Oui, c’est la vie. But what can I say other than, just go with it and all will be well.

All that matters is that we are happy, we are healthy, we are grateful.

 

 

 

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Kissing Idiots

 

Sunday night, kids are finally in bed and Jack just finished watching the game. I just finished picking up some of the stuff and prepped for tomorrow morning. The house is not too chaotic but it’s still pretty bad, there’s stuff everywhere. This is the way were most functional. When people come over we pull an illusion stunt where nothing appears to the naked eye and the house looks clean, but in reality, everything is hidden.  We take all of the laundry baskets and hide them in our closet. When I say laundry baskets, I’m not talking about one, two or even three. Right this moment there are six or seven laundry baskets full of clean clothes that need to be sorted, folded and put away. We’ve run out of actual baskets and started using empty diaper boxes.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t know, maybe so you can stress less when you see your own piles of unfolded laundry.

I’m sitting in the living room, looking at 2/3 of our Christmas tree. This year we decided to only put up 2 out of 3 parts up.

Jack’s arguing with me right now… something about diapers in the trash, and tomorrow being garbage day… and “you know it will stink if it stays there the whole week…” I don’t even know what he’s talking about… I just say “Sorry babe, you’re right” and all of my problems disappear.

I’m not just saying… he’s probably right for real…I’ve learned to be more than open towards that possibility. Jack and I argue a lot, we fight to the death. We can scream and shout, anything it takes to express ourselves, but our arguments never have any consequences. By no consequences I mean, after we’re done arguing we don’t treat each other any different than when we haven’t argued.

He’s back…arguing again…jeez! What is it this time… the habs must’ve lost, he needs emotional support. A man after a bad game is like a girl that’s PMS-ing.

Again, no consequence arguing, that means you argue, then resume to your normal relationship. No grudges, no resentment, no bitterness, no drama and no time apart! It’s great to know that you can fully express yourself without it affecting the relationship. It’s happened once that we we’re deciding on which movie to download to watch the same night, during the decision process we got into one of these fights… I don’t remember what it was about but I just know we we’re yelling, cutting each other off, using the words “ you always” (which is the worst thing you can do) basically it was pretty bad until Jack yelled “STOP!” then said “ Can we choose the movie first and continue the argument later, so that the movie can at least start loading.” So I sat down and we normally conversed about the movie we wanted to watch, he clicked the Download button and then said “Ok, continue” and we started fighting again. And when it was over, we watched the movie.

It’s normal to argue, a relationship is never easy, so why make it harder with consequences. If I went straight to bed after each argument and he stayed up alone watching TV, the argument would’ve had doubled its negative impact.

It’s hard at first and you do have to swallow some of your pride, but it’s well worth it.

-“You’re an idiot! Did you know that?!?!”

-“Yes, now come and give this idiot a kiss”

Be caring, be forgiving, be happy.

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Big and Braless

Big and Braless

Tonight was a special night. I got to watch a movie all by myself. I can’t remember the last time I got to do that, just finished watching Antwone Fisher, a biography movie. I cried so much my vision is blurry and I can feel my eyes swelling up, just what I need to look even more tired! I must admit my daily life is starting to show on my face, my neighbour randomly walked up to me the other week to tell me how tired I looked and come to think of it, everywhere I go people offer me a seat or something to eat with a worried look on their face.

It is true that I don’t sit a lot, and eating…well we’re on survival mode with that. I always tell Jack that when I’m old and these kids are all grown up all I’m going to do all day  is sleep and eat, just to catch up to these times. I warn him “I’m gona get big baby, real big!”

My skin has become very pale, and I’m starting to have circles under my eyes. But I never leave the house without my little 35 second makeup routine. Those who say they don’t have time for makeup need to try this. It literally takes me 35 seconds or less to look alive again. I’ve had endless debates with moms about makeup, but I believe a small touch is necessary, it’s not about being fake or superficial, it’s about basic maintenance. It’s kind of like wearing a bra, basic maintenance.

The only person who sees me without makeup or a bra is Jack.

Well … actually… Jack and … and the bus driver.

See, back when I was a kid I took the school bus to school and every morning I would watch moms bring their kids from the home door to the bus door in their pyjamas, and they were all always braless. I guess it was too early and they were in too much of a rush to put one on, I thought it was gross and I promised myself never to be that.

I have failed myself. I have become just that. I take my child to the bus every morning in my pyjamas with no bra.

I have to stop doing that at least before I become the real big grandma I promised myself I would become. Big, old and braless… it’s going to be priceless, especially that I would’ve called it 40 years before.

Well, this is a perfect example of a post that went too far.

Watch out for the next post “Important message to moms: Keep your nails short and real it’s a question of life”

 

bigandbraless

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