Monthly Archives: December 2014

A 15% Christmas

Chest nuts roasting over the open fire except We don’t have a fire place and even if we did who would lite it? Beautiful lights decorating the streets taking me on a guilt trip for not having opened the outdoor lights box I bought two years ago. People already sipping on hot chocolate while we’re all sipping on Amoxicillin .Christmas trees standing Tall in all of the windows reminding me that we haven’t put up our tree yet, entirely. We’re literally 15% there. My inner holy jolly Christmas spirit is being overpowered by the holy moly I’m exhausted mode. To all mommies barely making it, I wish you some sleep and an extra long shower for the holidays.
Take a look at this … A third of the tree with one single ornament hung by A2. That’s 15% wouldn’t you say?
Jack disagrees, he says 33%

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Nails, Toes and Chocolate Cake.

It’s almost 10 pm on a Tuesday night and I’m sitting at the edge of A2’s bed. If I move…it’s over, she will get up and sleep routine will start all over again. A1 shares the room and I can hear her nibbling on her finger nails.

“A1, stop biting your nails” I just whispered.

“but you bite yours” she quickly replied without hesitating.

She’s right and I don’t know what to tell her now.

Lately I’ve gotten back to my old bad habit of biting my nails and if you’ve ever been a nail bitter you’ll truly understand when I say I’ve bitten them so much and gone so far that my fingers hurt. I got up and took an Advil for my finger pain in the middle of the night last night cause I couldn’t sleep.  I know there’s worse to life than pain at the tip of my finger I’m not complaining , I’m just describing.

A1 is six now and she doesn’t hesitate to tell me what’s what.She calls me out on everything.

“How come you get to eat cake before supper” she said today as I was literally stuffing my mouth with a piece of chocolate cake standing over the sink. Where do I start explaining?

Look here little girl, mommy spends all day at work, then picks your little butts up from school every single day, one by one, stands outside in the snow, the rain and the cold, drives you home while you all nag and fight in the car, finally she gets home, empties the car of all the backpacks, and snow suits and gym bags and school projects…wow such a nice drawing, now where am I going to put this one, next to the other 346 you have? Then she goes back to the car to find your little sisters barefoot. Every single day, barefoot. What’s the deal with these toddlers? They seriously can’t wait till we get home to start picking out linen from their toes? Put their socks back on their feet, bend down to find their boots, man what a throw these little hands have… how did the boots get so far, reach the boots, work up a sweat, get back to their feet, they’ve taken their socks back off!!! WHY!!!!! PLEASE GOD!!! Mommy gives up and carries one baby in, comes back out carries baby two in, then comes back out for you only to find the mess they’ve left on their car seats, Cherrios, string cheese, apple slices everywhere, no time to clean A2 and A3 are inside by themselves, hurry in. Once inside, put Dora, No Angelina Ballerina, No Passe-Partout. No Dora no nothing get your homework! Then mommy stares inside the fridge for a few minutes hoping for the Holy spirit to intervene. No divine intervention. Then she cooks supper while your sisters dangle from her crotch area “Pick me up”, “No pick me up”, cutting board, boiling water, perfectly safe environment, “A1 write your words!”,”matin”, “soir”,”stop hitting your sister”, “no don’t write that”, mommy needs a break and since that’s not an option, SHE CAN HAVE CHOCLATE CAKE BEFORE SUPPER!

I’m still sitting on the edge of the bed, they’re asleep now. I can leave the room now…

I still didn’t have supper tonight. Where’s that chocolate cake?

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