Monthly Archives: December 2013

Part 2: Saturday Night Special

So we’re blogging in parts now. I went up to find two year old A2 standing up in her crib with no pyjama pants or diapers on. She removed her pants and diaper and then proceeded to pee in the bed. ” I pooped” she kept saying, but luckily she confuses the terms. I put her on the toilet and changed her sheets while she ran back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom over and over again. I washed her, changed her, and put her back to bed. She kept saying “I pooped”, I know it’s just an excuse to get her out of her crib at this point, so I showed her my pimple, lately I have bad acne, I don’t know if it’s the stress or the fact that I pass out before I can wash my face at night but I’m breaking out like a teenager. So I showed her a pimple and I said ” you see this bobo? Every time you don’t sleep mommy get’s one .” She pointed at it, then at another one,(cause there are many)  and asked ” this one too?”, “Yup this one too.” I replied, then I placed her in her crib and she just slept. I feel horrible now, poor kid, I can’t believe I’m already giving her guilt trips, now I’m officially a mom…
Jack asked me for a third time, he’s not really wondering, he just wants me to put the phone down . I told him I’m blogging  “I’m blogging, what did you think I was doing ? Sexting !?”.
I don’t know if that’s a word yet, sexting. This post officially has the word sex in it, I’m sure it’s going to break record views.
What were we even saying? Let me read back. I need a moment.
Ok I’m back, so I came back from the drive, got into bed and I suddenly hear a sniffing sound “sniff sniff” it gets louder and louder, it’s Jack, he’s sniffing in his sleep, he suddenly  pounces up on his hands and knees, sniffs the air around like a mad dog, violently digs his nose in my neck and says :”You smell like a man! Where were you?”.
-“Calm down! This is how Barbara’s car smells! Now warm me up I’m freezing!”
And even though he wouldn’t even come near me because of the smell, I still slept with a big smile on my face. A little sign of over protectiveness makes every girl feel special. I might never get roses but this is my kind of romance.
And turns out that smell was mahogany leather and mahogany teakwood.

Thanks Barbara!

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Part 1: Saturday Night Special

He watches the hockey game while I watch the baby monitor. I’m watching the Saturday night special, a crying baby that refuses to sleep. Oh wait a minute, that can’t be the Saturday night special because this happens every night!
I’m writing this post on my phone and Jack just asked :”who are you writing to for this long?”. He thinks I’m texting someone and Is asking questions. Keeping an eye out… Isn’t that cute…
A little bit of possessiveness can be a good thing as long as it doesn’t turn into ridiculous jealousy.
The other day I posted a status about how I was about to lose it, maybe I can find the post.

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As soon as I posted that I got a text from a couple of my girlfriends, we’re coming to take you for a drive. As I’ve previously mentioned, sometimes I’m kidnapped late nights and taken for drives in the rich neighbourhoods to watch the big houses or find a perfect waterfront spot to chit chat. That night, when they brought me back home Jack was already asleep, so I just went to bed. Usually, if Jack’s asleep not much can wake him up, so I just got into bed, the moment I was in there I heard …
Jacks asking who I’m texting again. And now A2’s up yelling “I pooped!”. I gotta go.

 

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Perfect representation on my Boxing Day morning.

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December 26, 2013 · 1:39 pm

3:37 am to 4:24 am.

3:37 am . I’m lying in bed wide awake. What’s the problem? My mind. It’s racing and thinking of anything it can think of, calculating, planning, organizing… I can’t get it to stop! Usually when I’m this way in the middle of the night I get
up and go for a hot shower, I clear my thoughts relax and come back to bed. But today, even in the shower, I was just standing there, thinking and thinking!
A3’s crying, gotta go.

Ok I’m back. 13 month old A3 still wakes up several times a night, when I went into her room she was sitting In her bed and was startled when I walked in. I was trying to be quiet to not wake the other two but I should’ve given her a heads up, next time I’ll wiggle the doorknob or something. I scared the poor thing !
The other day, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom , on my way past the mirror, I stopped and got really up close to it, checking out the evolution of my acne when suddenly I see, in the reflection, a small shadow standing in the doorway . My heart stopped I turned, it was A1 just standing there, “The Ring” style, with some her hair in front of her face.
” Mommy? what are you doing?” She gently asked.
What am I doing? What are YOU doing!?
She just needed to use the bathroom.
My heart was still beating fast even several minutes after the fact!
Poor A3 , I just did the same thing to her and just out of the shower too, with wet hair! She hardly ever sees me with wet hair… I picked her up and hugged and kissed her, I couldn’t just put her back to sleep like I usually do, this was my apology. I decided to change her diaper, I usually don’t change diapers in the night because that tends to wake them up more, but she deserved this one. The whole time she was starring straight into my eyes. Sometimes I feel like she can see into my soul. Has it ever happened to you to be stated at by a child, in a bus or grocery store? They just lock eyes with you and don’t let you go. I decided to put on a smile , and when I did , she did too. I’m so blessed to have little angels smile at me in the middle of the night. Little angels with mismatched socks.
Which reminds me , I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer again!
I put her back in bed, then went in to check on the others. My blissful rounds, I go in and caress their faces and backs so that they can feel my presence. Jack taught me this. “Let them feel you in their sleep, let them know you’re there ” he said once and I do it every night ever since.
Sure I’ve got a million things to think about but I’ll just have to make time to think another time. My mind is not racing anymore. I’m just here, in this moment, with my family.
Now , I can sleep.
Goodnight.

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Open Windows and Iced Water

Holiday madness, everybody’s got a thousand things to do. I am hosting on Christmas day and my mother insisted on helping me with the cooking. I am very particular when it comes to this, I don’t know how to explain it but I like to take care of the cooking myself when I have guests over. Sometimes it’s just impossible, and I have to accept help, but a part of me still really struggles with that. I think I just like to play host, and it kills me that I can’t properly do it.

I blame the kids, entirely. Hopefully, one day, when they grow up, I’ll have the chance to host as I please, and for payback, I’ll make them wash the dishes and clean the house. It’s going to be wonderful having three girls around to help me with cooking and cleaning. If they’re going to be anything close to what I was as a teenager, then I’m pretty much doomed but there’s always wishing. I didn’t lift a finger when I lived with my parents; I never did my own laundry and never ever cooked a meal for myself. I didn’t even clean my room. One time after ignoring my mother’s threats about my dirty room,  I came back to a very clean room. Clean alright, my mom had thrown everything out of the window, literally out of the window. I must say she had a unique parenting tactic, but I must admit I wasn’t the easiest to deal with. Every morning she would try to wake me up for school and I just wouldn’t budge until one day, she poured an icy glass of water on my face. Not only did that get me up and running, but from then on, all she had to do was shake a glass of icy water and let the sound of those clinking ice cubes wake me up.

I’m nervous about writing about my mom because I’m afraid of misrepresenting her, she truly is a wonderful woman and I would be lucky to be half as wise as her.

A couple of days ago, as I was in the middle of my usual mayhem, the phone rang; it was a challenge just to get to the phone. It was my mother telling me all about the great food she’s been cooking for Christmas at my house. And what do I say to her: thank you? I love you? You’re the best for doing this for me?

No…

I say “ Mom, I’m very busy right now and I really can’t talk”.

I know… it’s bad. Why do we treat our moms like this? I hope they know we love them no matter what non-sense we say…That specific day, not only did my mom spend her only day off cooking for me, but then went and got A1 from school and kept her so that I could have it a little easier for a few hours with only the other two.

I know. I’m a monster.

So after I told my mother I didn’t have time to talk I asked to speak with my daughter.

I had spent hours making personalized Christmas gifts for each and every one of her teachers, following her every last request and demand. That was the day she was supposed to give the gifts to her teachers.

So I asked my mom: “Could I talk to A1?” and she passed the phone.

A1 said “Hi”

I asked her “How are you? Did the teachers like their gift? Did they open it?”

And do you know what she responded? Life. just full of lessons, pouring out in every single moment….

She responded “MOM! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR QUESTIONS, I’M PLAYING!” and handed the phone back to her grandma.

There you go… this is life.

So how do I feel now?

I’m thinking, if I love my mom the way I know I love my mom and I still talk to her this way, then I am reassured to know that my daughter loves me even though she talks to me this way. Writing this, I have a huge smile on my face and eyes filled with tears, for I’ve just understood how my mom deals with me.

With love.

No matter what I do, or say, she never doubts my love.

And now, I guess I do the same for my daughter.

I learn from my mother every day and I learn from my daughters every day, and the oddest part is that they seem to teach me most about myself.

Mommy I love you, and I’m sorry for snapping at you.

And A1 you better be ready because I’m coming at you with open windows and iced water!

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Sweating Over Pancakes

It’s Saturday morning, we’re not even past breakfast and I’m already sweating bullets. I keep a deodorant bar in my kitchen drawer and I pull it out and apply when need be about 5 times a day. First I use baby wipes to clean, some paper towel to pat dry, then I apply. I do all this so often that sometimes I forget myself and do it while I have guests over.

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A1 and A2 were quietly eating their pancakes when I slipped into the leaving room to start this post… and now they’re both here, one on each side of me, eating their pancake on the living room coffee table. They made their way here, no fuss, no questions, following mommy around like little ducklings behind their mommy duck.

Ok I should go. They deserve all of my attention. Plus parenting is so much less frustrating when you’re not trying to get something done while the kids are around.

Don’t do, just be.

As they are.

…to be continued…

 

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Giving myself a bad day…

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Chaos is sign of life.

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This part of my life is their childhood. Every moment counts.

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Give in order to receive, number one rule forgotten by most .

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Healing nights

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Speak Sober Dance Drunk

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Kissing Idiots

 

Sunday night, kids are finally in bed and Jack just finished watching the game. I just finished picking up some of the stuff and prepped for tomorrow morning. The house is not too chaotic but it’s still pretty bad, there’s stuff everywhere. This is the way were most functional. When people come over we pull an illusion stunt where nothing appears to the naked eye and the house looks clean, but in reality, everything is hidden.  We take all of the laundry baskets and hide them in our closet. When I say laundry baskets, I’m not talking about one, two or even three. Right this moment there are six or seven laundry baskets full of clean clothes that need to be sorted, folded and put away. We’ve run out of actual baskets and started using empty diaper boxes.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t know, maybe so you can stress less when you see your own piles of unfolded laundry.

I’m sitting in the living room, looking at 2/3 of our Christmas tree. This year we decided to only put up 2 out of 3 parts up.

Jack’s arguing with me right now… something about diapers in the trash, and tomorrow being garbage day… and “you know it will stink if it stays there the whole week…” I don’t even know what he’s talking about… I just say “Sorry babe, you’re right” and all of my problems disappear.

I’m not just saying… he’s probably right for real…I’ve learned to be more than open towards that possibility. Jack and I argue a lot, we fight to the death. We can scream and shout, anything it takes to express ourselves, but our arguments never have any consequences. By no consequences I mean, after we’re done arguing we don’t treat each other any different than when we haven’t argued.

He’s back…arguing again…jeez! What is it this time… the habs must’ve lost, he needs emotional support. A man after a bad game is like a girl that’s PMS-ing.

Again, no consequence arguing, that means you argue, then resume to your normal relationship. No grudges, no resentment, no bitterness, no drama and no time apart! It’s great to know that you can fully express yourself without it affecting the relationship. It’s happened once that we we’re deciding on which movie to download to watch the same night, during the decision process we got into one of these fights… I don’t remember what it was about but I just know we we’re yelling, cutting each other off, using the words “ you always” (which is the worst thing you can do) basically it was pretty bad until Jack yelled “STOP!” then said “ Can we choose the movie first and continue the argument later, so that the movie can at least start loading.” So I sat down and we normally conversed about the movie we wanted to watch, he clicked the Download button and then said “Ok, continue” and we started fighting again. And when it was over, we watched the movie.

It’s normal to argue, a relationship is never easy, so why make it harder with consequences. If I went straight to bed after each argument and he stayed up alone watching TV, the argument would’ve had doubled its negative impact.

It’s hard at first and you do have to swallow some of your pride, but it’s well worth it.

-“You’re an idiot! Did you know that?!?!”

-“Yes, now come and give this idiot a kiss”

Be caring, be forgiving, be happy.

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I am perfect because I’m perfectly happy.

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Get off your phone! Life is passing you by!

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” I can hear everything you are doing” – A1

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The bigger the better. (About underwear of course!)

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A Jack classic ” go on to bed, I’ll be there shortly”

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