Holiday madness, everybody’s got a thousand things to do. I am hosting on Christmas day and my mother insisted on helping me with the cooking. I am very particular when it comes to this, I don’t know how to explain it but I like to take care of the cooking myself when I have guests over. Sometimes it’s just impossible, and I have to accept help, but a part of me still really struggles with that. I think I just like to play host, and it kills me that I can’t properly do it.
I blame the kids, entirely. Hopefully, one day, when they grow up, I’ll have the chance to host as I please, and for payback, I’ll make them wash the dishes and clean the house. It’s going to be wonderful having three girls around to help me with cooking and cleaning. If they’re going to be anything close to what I was as a teenager, then I’m pretty much doomed but there’s always wishing. I didn’t lift a finger when I lived with my parents; I never did my own laundry and never ever cooked a meal for myself. I didn’t even clean my room. One time after ignoring my mother’s threats about my dirty room, I came back to a very clean room. Clean alright, my mom had thrown everything out of the window, literally out of the window. I must say she had a unique parenting tactic, but I must admit I wasn’t the easiest to deal with. Every morning she would try to wake me up for school and I just wouldn’t budge until one day, she poured an icy glass of water on my face. Not only did that get me up and running, but from then on, all she had to do was shake a glass of icy water and let the sound of those clinking ice cubes wake me up.
I’m nervous about writing about my mom because I’m afraid of misrepresenting her, she truly is a wonderful woman and I would be lucky to be half as wise as her.
A couple of days ago, as I was in the middle of my usual mayhem, the phone rang; it was a challenge just to get to the phone. It was my mother telling me all about the great food she’s been cooking for Christmas at my house. And what do I say to her: thank you? I love you? You’re the best for doing this for me?
I say “ Mom, I’m very busy right now and I really can’t talk”.
I know… it’s bad. Why do we treat our moms like this? I hope they know we love them no matter what non-sense we say…That specific day, not only did my mom spend her only day off cooking for me, but then went and got A1 from school and kept her so that I could have it a little easier for a few hours with only the other two.
I know. I’m a monster.
So after I told my mother I didn’t have time to talk I asked to speak with my daughter.
I had spent hours making personalized Christmas gifts for each and every one of her teachers, following her every last request and demand. That was the day she was supposed to give the gifts to her teachers.
So I asked my mom: “Could I talk to A1?” and she passed the phone.
A1 said “Hi”
I asked her “How are you? Did the teachers like their gift? Did they open it?”
And do you know what she responded? Life. just full of lessons, pouring out in every single moment….
She responded “MOM! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR QUESTIONS, I’M PLAYING!” and handed the phone back to her grandma.
There you go… this is life.
So how do I feel now?
I’m thinking, if I love my mom the way I know I love my mom and I still talk to her this way, then I am reassured to know that my daughter loves me even though she talks to me this way. Writing this, I have a huge smile on my face and eyes filled with tears, for I’ve just understood how my mom deals with me.
No matter what I do, or say, she never doubts my love.
And now, I guess I do the same for my daughter.
I learn from my mother every day and I learn from my daughters every day, and the oddest part is that they seem to teach me most about myself.
Mommy I love you, and I’m sorry for snapping at you.
And A1 you better be ready because I’m coming at you with open windows and iced water!