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Talking poop

Finally ! Some down time.

Jack is finally watching tonight’s game. It’s recorded so that he can watch it peacefully once the girls are sleeping. Last time we watched a game together, I asked too many questions and then really aggravated him when I said that the opposite team seem to be better skaters. “They glide better” I said, while our team was losing 5 to 1. Needless to say, I learned a new lesson.

Note to self: Do not say anything negative about the team during a bad game.

In fact, I should’ve stuck with simply not talking to him during the game. What was I thinking?

He was so emotional about it… jeez.

I’ve also learned that to keep our marriage happy I should only say half of the things I’m thinking to say. A less talkative me makes a much happier him.

Poor him he’s got 3 more to deal with, and they all seem to be growing up to be as talkative as me.

Today at the dinner table, A1 asked “Next time I sleep at granma’s I’m going to make cookies, do you think that’s a good idea, a bad idea, a very good idea, a very bad idea, a very very bad idea or a very very good idea?”

Waaaaaaaa? Again we just stand there without an answer. We lost you after “cookie” kid!

Last time at dinner, conversation was about Elephant Poo. “Do you think the Elephant poops this much?” A1 shows the size of a pile, “Or this much?” she show’s a bigger pile. Jack answers “Thiiiiiiiiis muuuuuuuuch!” even A2 was participating to the conversation, after all it was mostly sign language, and poo is a word she knows well.

Poo is a word we know well too. You expect to have to deal with poop when becoming a parent, but no one tells you that it will end up in your hair, on your face and under your socks at least once at some point of the process. You better wish it happens sooner than later, because the older they get, the more real their poop gets. When they’re new born and only drink milk, it barely qualifies as poop, it’s more like mud. It doesn’t even smell all that bad. But when they’re all food group eating toddlers….ooof!

I remember, a long time ago, when my grandmother was changing my bratty little brother’s poopy diaper, he wouldn’t stay put. Poor woman was left in sweats by the time she managed to get him cleaned up. She grabbed a wipe to wipe her face only to realize she had just used the dirty poopy wipe on her face.

I was 8, I laughed so hard not knowing life had similar plans reserved for me…

If someone’s ever scared you by running after you with a Kleenex containing a squished spider, a dirty diaper filled with stinking, hot S&*% is good payback.

Well, I just spent 260 words talking about crap. That’s why blogs are so great, anything goes!

I think next time I’ll write about farts. Oh! So much to say!

Btw after the last post I went to check on the kids and found this.DSC04415 - Copy

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The hare and the Anniversary Special

Hare: n. Any of various mammals of the family Leporidae, especially of the genus Lepus, similar to rabbits but having longer ears and legs and giving birth to active, furred young. (thefreedictionnary.com)

Dishes, laundry and bathing three kids leaves mommy in a cold shower by the end of the evening. No more hot water.

Right before that, A1 asked to be read a story before bed. So I started:

“ I’m gonna tell you the story of the turtle and the, the hmmm… how do we say “lièvre” in english.”

A1: What’s that mommy?

Me : It’s a wild rabbit that runs fast.

A1: Oh! A kangaroo?

Me : No. Let’s ask daddy. DAAADDDYYY

Jack answers from across the hall “What!”

Me: How do you say “Lièvre” in English?

Jack: I dunno. Coyote ?

Btw as I wrote  this Jack came up behind me and said.egg

“Don’t post this; people are going think I’m stupid… You’re still going to post it aren’t you? Your blog is nothing without me!”

And he’s right the blog is about my life and he’s a big part of it. Since we’re talking about Jack, might as well continue.

In our house weekends are so chaotic that we rarely have time to eat, so I always prepare a bowl of hard-boiled eggs so we can at least have a quick dose of protein in a snack. Jack has made it a habit to crack the egg on his head. Yes you read right. He takes the boiled egg and he smashes it on his head. It’s partly to make the children laugh but he does it even when they’re not around.

So Saturday, on our anniversary, I decided to put one non-boiled egg in that bowl.

I think you can imagine the rest…

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To blog or not to blog

People tell me I should start a blog, so I googled “blog” to find out what it is. Yes, I’m relatively young but I’m technologically challenged. I have no knowledge about technology past the bare basics. This doesn’t only apply to computers and the internet; I must admit using the TV is a bit of a challenge for me. The DVR scares me and I can’t differ regular viewing from HD for my life. My camera always stays on the same setting and I hate using the home alarm system. I come from a home where my dad put up a “beware of dog “sign in the window, and that was our alarm system.

I found out what a blog is, checked out a few… ok but still not sure what I’m expected to write on it.  The bigger question is, where am I going to find the time to write a blog? It’s past 10 pm; I have two kids in bed and a two month old still up. As I’m writing this, I’m looking around at my house and it’s a complete mess. There are toys everywhere, laundry to be folded and put away, dishes to be done and to top it all off my little coat hook system broke on Christmas day when we had family over and put over 20 coats on a small 5 hook board…so now all the kids and our coats, snowsuits, hats, scarves are spread out on the living room couches.

I have to stop now. Baby is crying.

Fed,burped, rocked to sleep and I’m back.

Baby crying again. This will be impossible.

I’m back. How do they know to hold their poop until you put them in a fresh diaper??

This is what’s going to keep happening, I’m going to be on a train of thoughts, I’m going to get interrupted by someone and then lose track of mind. Yesterday as I was thinking about this blog thing, I was trying to make a written list of things I could talk about. I promise you I didn’t get far.

So I guess this is my first blog post .

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