Category Archives: Parenting

Beethoven Getting Me Up

Beethoven Getting Me Up

How about writing to Beethoven. I have Beethoven’s Symphony 7 playing in my headphones as I write this blog post. I’m hoping he will inspire me some kind of genius…So far it’s complicated. Just let go I’m thinking to myself. Just let the words flow, let the thoughts flow. Trust your fingers to move quickly and grab every idea before they vanish away into thin air where they came from. I’m just starting to understand the struggles of an artist. They explode in creativity yet they have to leave desire aside in order to conform to society, succeed and earn a living. I’m a mother of three also trying to find balance between duty and desire.

Balance in general is really what I’m after. Just balance.

I can’t deny that there are times when I can’t help but be sad. The exhaustion gets to me and I start thinking of all the negative sides of my life. But then I suddenly realize that I’m being extremely ungrateful and I bring myself back. I believe being happy is having the capacity to realize that you are sad and have the capacity to bring yourself back to happiness If you choose to. I’ve realized that when I’m sad or down my whole family comes down with me. My children throw more tantrums, my husband suddenly starts complaining… I’m learning to recognize when I’m feeling low and am learning to cheer myself up. Might sound goofy but it’s quite a process. Imagine talking yourself from sad, exhausted and having a bad day to feeling extremely happy, energetic ready to face a day full of challenges just in a few minutes!

Especially if you are a mom, you need to talk yourself out of the low. Post-partum depression is a very real thing and I personally didn’t realize I was having it until I was pretty deep in. I realize I am responsible for my own happiness and energy levels. I want to be happy so I will be happy.

“It’s easy for you to be happy, you have everything” someone once told me. But I can truly say that being happy in the first place is what led me to all the wonderful things in my life. When you are emitting positive energies things just seem to work out. I’m not sure about destiny but I believe there’s a possibility in any direction you go. One just needs to decide in which direction they are going.

Personally I choose up.

 

bethoven

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Filed under happy parenting, life, Motherhood, Parenting, positive thinking, Success, Uncategorized

Overwhelmed Mama

Monday July 25,2016

There was a time in my life when I thought I knew a lot. Then I discovered how wrong I was.

It’s a mid-summer Monday afternoon and I’ve put all A’s down for naps. Well, I use to put them down for naps, now I order them to go to bed, they don’t listen, I yell a bit, then I use my low finger pointing scary voice while holding my jaw shut very tight so I sound really angry… I have to scare them a little.

And I tell them “If I come back and I see one head lifted from the pillow I’m really going to get mad!”. And leave and go downstairs. At this point I know I have 14 minutes tops before they start sneaking out of bed. What’s the first thing I should do?! Laudry YES! A1 just came back from 5 day scout camp, there is a hockey bag in my living room, filled with dirty, I mean real dirty stuff. Or maybe write a post on my blog ?

As you can see I went for the post. And actually 14 minutes have long passed and I’m cutting mr.Freeze bags for A2 and A3 in the living room…

And A3 is ordering a “Bay-Daid” for her pretend bobo.

I keep thinking I have to end this post but they always seem to always calm back down. Now A2 is teaching A3 a song. At this point I have cookies and mr.freeze on the living room couches and I’m just trying not to lose my cool.

IMG_1003 I’m trying to stay calm to actually enjoy the their stillness. Sure they’re making a mess but at least they are quiet. If I start talking loud and waving my hands around they’re gona get nervous and I’m going to have to deal with cries and tantrums. Sometimes I feel the more invisible I am the calmer they are. Grand-parents and teachers speak of their great behavior yet with me… they are a whole other thing. I’m thinking I must be the problem.

Today I’m learning to focus on the moment. I learned that I need to take care of myself first in order to truly understand how to best serve my family. How can I become a better mother, a better lover, a better friend? It’s all in the same way, by Becoming a better person. How to become a better person?

Start by calming down.

Breathe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under happy parenting, Motherhood, Parenting, positive thinking, Uncategorized, Yoga

Parenting: Still trying to figure it out.

Kids are finally asleep. I’m sitting here feeling overwhelmed, running the entire day back in my head wondering if I did this parenting thing right. Wondering what I could’ve done differently.images

Sometimes I think it was much easier when they were babies, sure I didn’t know what to do at times: What to do when they have a fever? How to soothe a colic? When to start baby food? But Google always had the answer.

Now I’m faced with much bigger challenges: What to do when my child misbehaves? How to properly discipline my child? When should I be a good cop and when should the bad?

I use to think that I was doing a good job parenting but the more they grow up and I see the fruit of my labor… I wonder.

Parenting is a constant guilt trip.  We get a little short tempered and feel bad right after. If I yell  at them during bed time I lie awake for hours afterwards shaking my head at myself thinking “I could’ve done better; I should’ve been more patient”.

Yes I feel overwhelmed at times, three little girls, with different characters, each with a different need every second. Sometimes I feel short of losing my mind. Now they’re interacting with each other, sometimes horribly clashing other times harmoniously bonding.

In this journey as a parent I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that I cannot make or break my child’s character and that alone helped relieve some pressure.

Another thing I’ve learned from my kids is forgiveness. Have you noticed that you could screw up real bad sometimes but they will always forgive you and accept your smiles and affection? They don’t hold grudges and know how to love unconditionally.

It is known that a parent loves their child more than the child loves the parent, but sometimes I think that the opposite might also be true. Not because we love them less than they love us, but because it seems like they simply know how to love better than us adults.

Perhaps we are all born with the capacity for unconditional love and then life happens…

They’re newer, closer to the way we were created. Life hasn’t taken too much of its toll on them yet. They still love by instinct.

Writing this right now makes me realize that I have no reason to worry for not being a perfect parent, for the children are smarter, purer, and more able than we think.  No need to feel guilty as long as you are aware of yourself and strive to be better.

Next time you think you made a mistake, perhaps lost patience, maybe even threw something or someone…

Just stop, look at them, tell them you’re sorry, hold them and see the unconditional love they have for you.

I feel better now.

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