Kids are finally asleep. I’m sitting here feeling overwhelmed, running the entire day back in my head wondering if I did this parenting thing right. Wondering what I could’ve done differently.
Sometimes I think it was much easier when they were babies, sure I didn’t know what to do at times: What to do when they have a fever? How to soothe a colic? When to start baby food? But Google always had the answer.
Now I’m faced with much bigger challenges: What to do when my child misbehaves? How to properly discipline my child? When should I be a good cop and when should the bad?
I use to think that I was doing a good job parenting but the more they grow up and I see the fruit of my labor… I wonder.
Parenting is a constant guilt trip. We get a little short tempered and feel bad right after. If I yell at them during bed time I lie awake for hours afterwards shaking my head at myself thinking “I could’ve done better; I should’ve been more patient”.
Yes I feel overwhelmed at times, three little girls, with different characters, each with a different need every second. Sometimes I feel short of losing my mind. Now they’re interacting with each other, sometimes horribly clashing other times harmoniously bonding.
In this journey as a parent I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that I cannot make or break my child’s character and that alone helped relieve some pressure.
Another thing I’ve learned from my kids is forgiveness. Have you noticed that you could screw up real bad sometimes but they will always forgive you and accept your smiles and affection? They don’t hold grudges and know how to love unconditionally.
It is known that a parent loves their child more than the child loves the parent, but sometimes I think that the opposite might also be true. Not because we love them less than they love us, but because it seems like they simply know how to love better than us adults.
Perhaps we are all born with the capacity for unconditional love and then life happens…
They’re newer, closer to the way we were created. Life hasn’t taken too much of its toll on them yet. They still love by instinct.
Writing this right now makes me realize that I have no reason to worry for not being a perfect parent, for the children are smarter, purer, and more able than we think. No need to feel guilty as long as you are aware of yourself and strive to be better.
Next time you think you made a mistake, perhaps lost patience, maybe even threw something or someone…
Just stop, look at them, tell them you’re sorry, hold them and see the unconditional love they have for you.
I feel better now.
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