Category Archives: life

Beethoven Getting Me Up

Beethoven Getting Me Up

How about writing to Beethoven. I have Beethoven’s Symphony 7 playing in my headphones as I write this blog post. I’m hoping he will inspire me some kind of genius…So far it’s complicated. Just let go I’m thinking to myself. Just let the words flow, let the thoughts flow. Trust your fingers to move quickly and grab every idea before they vanish away into thin air where they came from. I’m just starting to understand the struggles of an artist. They explode in creativity yet they have to leave desire aside in order to conform to society, succeed and earn a living. I’m a mother of three also trying to find balance between duty and desire.

Balance in general is really what I’m after. Just balance.

I can’t deny that there are times when I can’t help but be sad. The exhaustion gets to me and I start thinking of all the negative sides of my life. But then I suddenly realize that I’m being extremely ungrateful and I bring myself back. I believe being happy is having the capacity to realize that you are sad and have the capacity to bring yourself back to happiness If you choose to. I’ve realized that when I’m sad or down my whole family comes down with me. My children throw more tantrums, my husband suddenly starts complaining… I’m learning to recognize when I’m feeling low and am learning to cheer myself up. Might sound goofy but it’s quite a process. Imagine talking yourself from sad, exhausted and having a bad day to feeling extremely happy, energetic ready to face a day full of challenges just in a few minutes!

Especially if you are a mom, you need to talk yourself out of the low. Post-partum depression is a very real thing and I personally didn’t realize I was having it until I was pretty deep in. I realize I am responsible for my own happiness and energy levels. I want to be happy so I will be happy.

“It’s easy for you to be happy, you have everything” someone once told me. But I can truly say that being happy in the first place is what led me to all the wonderful things in my life. When you are emitting positive energies things just seem to work out. I’m not sure about destiny but I believe there’s a possibility in any direction you go. One just needs to decide in which direction they are going.

Personally I choose up.

 

bethoven

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Filed under happy parenting, life, Motherhood, Parenting, positive thinking, Success, Uncategorized

A blog, a show, so why not a vlog.

I’m sitting at home now, just got home from the studio. We shot episode 14 of JulieTalk Live. What I learned on this episode was to trust myself. Yes I learn lessons on my own show. I’m perhaps the one who learns the most.

We talked about trusting ourselves and stepping away from limiting self doubts. Sure I have self doubt about the show, but I try to overcome it. I try to not let doubt, fear or anything negative limit me. If there’s something that you want to try to do, I say do it! Go for it. Don’t expect to be discovered if you still haven’t discovered yourself.

Whatever you’re doing, or want to be doing doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be done, and put out there. Plant a seed and watch. Perhaps it will grow, and perhaps it won’t, but you’ll never know unless you try.

Sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling, and I have a sudden urge to write a post. Sometimes I just want to share a moment with the world. And sometimes I feel that interrupting that moment to write a post defeats the purpose. So today, as I had one of those moments, I made a vlog out of it.

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Love is happy and happy is free .

I don’t know if it’s the raging hormones , the exhaustion or maybe the lack of outings, but I’m just obsessed with my children. I don’t know if it’s the love they have for me or the amount of love that pours out of my heart for them that surprises me more. I never thought I could love so much or that I was worthy of this much love.
I’m with them all day, and the moment I’m away I’m looking at pictures and videos of them and missing them. I don’t know what nature does to us, but I know that when I became a mother my world changed, my perception shifted and I grew everyday into a different person. Sure this sounds mushy gushy but I just can’t help myself.
I’m fully aware that one of the most annoying things can be parents who don’t stop talking about their kids…
All is good in right doses.
I don’t know, sometimes I just get overwhelmed by the whole situation. Nobody is never fully prepared to become a parent, and society doesn’t help by omitting all the real details of it. The last week of my pregnancy with A1 I kept asking :” Are they really going to let us bring the baby home?”, ” Are they really going to leave us alone with the baby ?”. I had so much mental blockage and was so not ready for what was coming. My circumstances we’re kind of special but that’s another story for another time.
Tonight I’m just in love.
There’s nothing more to this life than potential happiness . Every minute we spend not being happy is a minute wasted. Gone forever.
Be happy, seek love.
Love is just a way towards happy .
Happy is free.
Doesn’t really matter if everybody doesn’t get you, doesn’t matter what car you drive, doesn’t matter that your boss is an a-hole.
All that matters is how you feel in this moment. And only you and your thoughts can control how you feel.
Start by being happy and all will fall into place.
Feeling so blessed. How can not want to have more children?
Perhaps I should wake Jack up…

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5:52 am my boyfriend got me pregnant.

5:52 am.
There was a time in my life when 5:52 am meant coming home after a night if partying.
5:52 am today is : I’ve only gotten a couple hours of sleep, just gave A2 fever medication and I’m up thinking about what the heck I’m going to make for them to eat tomorrow considering my fridge is empty. I’m going to have to pull out my Macgyver cooking skills and make full meals out of nothing.
5:59 am.
I remember rushing home to make it before 6 am because past 6 am was considered really bad. I remember swiftly unlocking the door so that I wouldn’t wake my parents. But they were up , every single time. Up and oh so mad. Thinking back, I didn’t even realize that I was worrying them, all I perceived was anger and all I cared about was how long they were going to yell at me for it and wether or not they would still be mad at me the next day.
Oh god, if I gave my parents so much to worry about Karma’s going to take good care of me with 3 daughters.
I would much rather be up at 6 am worrying about details knowing that my children are right here , instead of being up worrying about when they’re going to get home…
I’m suddenly happy with this Monday morning 6:08.
Dear Mom and dad sorry for all the worry I put you through.
Dear karma please go easy on me.
After all, It’s not like my boyfriend got me pregnant before marriage…

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A Sticker.

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They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture represents my life perfectly. Three daughters who have taken over everything including the toilet, literally.
Even when we are using the toilet we’re sitting on a dozen of princess stickers. We try and scratch a few off while we’re there but there stuck on pretty hard. Lately we’re potty training A2 and I must say we’re doing pretty bad, making all the classic mistakes, confusing her with pull ups, yelling at her when she has accidents, switching back and forth from underwear to diapers according to where we’re going… We’re failing at this, but at least we’re aware of it….
So I was over at a friend’s house and I noticed they had put up a paper on the bathroom wall where they would stick a sticker every time their child used the potty, it’s a good idea I thought and started implementing the same method at home. Until A2 figured out the concept and would ask to sit on the toilet, do nothing, stick a sticker then go pee behind the couch.
You would think they would learn from seeing us go, I mean if you’ve managed to hold on to some privacy in your marriage then I congratulate you, but know that kids will take all of that away. Privacy? Ha! Forget it!
They watch me change, but the worst is the look on their faces if they happen to see me naked. Oh! And then the questions…
” why do you put hats on your breast?”
I try to avoid changing in front of them but sometimes it’s just inevitable. You have to keep an eye on them all the time, so if you see them, it probably means then can see you back.
There’s absolutely no privacy left in the bathroom, actually quite the opposite, when I have to go I place the high chair right in front of the bathroom door place the baby there and announce ” mommy’ going to the bathroom, I’m right there, nobody panic!”
The only time I make sure to close the door is when I have my period. I really don’t want to have to explain that yet!One day A1 walked over to my room holding a hygienic pad in her hand, she had opened it and said ” I know you stick this on your butt, tell me why.” She knew it was something I was keeping from her, I don’t even know how she figured out that I stuck it anywhere near my butt.
” I’ll tell you when you grow up” I said.
-” no tell me now”
So I lied. ” sometimes when mommies have babies water comes out of their tummies and they wear that so that their underwear doesn’t get wet”
What was I supposed to do?? Tell her the truth?? Ovulation, blood, reproduction??? She’s five and believes in Santa and the tooth fairy!
By the way, tooth fairy’s real. I’ve seen her.
So after my explanation she replied.
-” was that so hard? Did I really have to wait to grow up to hear that?”
I don’t even know what to think at this point, my daughter is five going on fifteen!
Today as I was in the bathroom, two year old A2 walked in, she looked at me and said ” You did pipi in the toilet? Good for you. You want a sticker?”
She then walked over to the drawer. There are no stickers in the drawer I thought, what is she doing? She pulled out a pad, confidently opened it and stuck it on the wall.
All I could think to say was ” thank you”.

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Filed under Funny kids, Humor, life, Motherhood, positive thinking

Construction week Vacation

We’re on vacation. Finally found a way to access the Internet . Technologically challenged remember..
I do have many many stories to tell, a lot can happen crammed into a van with three kids, heading to a wedding in New Jersey . The wedding? Oh ya it was great, the two out of three had a fever , my dress ripped down the middle and someone asked me when I was due!
All this said, I promised myself I wasn’t gona blog while I was on vacation. It’s good to disconnect once in a while. Will be back shortly.
Wishing all of you a great construction week .
Xoxo

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A2 drank from the toilet. Cheers!

Kids are finally asleep. Jack’s watching the games… Seems like all my posts starts the same way.

So A2 drank toilet water today. We were at my inlaw’s house, when Jack caught her standing in front of the toilet bowl, sucking on a wet hand towel whose other end was still in the toilet. Yey!

He called for me. By the time I got there everyone was gathered in the bathroom. I asked A1 “You went to the bathroom last,please tell me you didn’t forget to flush!”. There was water everywhere and she was soaked. We started to clean up when we realized she had gotten away again. “There’s another bathroom on this floor!” Jack yelled out. We ran to the bedroom bathroom and found her there plotting her next drink.

I wish I was the one who caught her doing that. I would’ve probably left her and ran for my camera.

Oh ya, and no, A1 hadn’t forgotten to flush!  Good girl.

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no structure…and looks like it will keep getting worse.

It’s after school but before supper. A1 and A2 are playing in the backyard while A3’s sleeping inside. I’m sitting on the porch. I’m just letting this sink in. They’re playing outside on their own. There not crying for me, they don’t need anything from me… just on their own.

Already?

It’s feels weird, bitter sweet in a way? I guess I’m going to be like those mothers who feel like their kids grew up too fast and then hold on to their youngest and never let them grow up.

Nah!

Sometimes I think ahead and wonder what kind of journey lies ahead with 3 teenage girls….

I watch Roseanne sometimes and get worried. “We’re quit alike” I think.

Don’t think too far ahead, take it one day at a time. Better yet, don’t only take it one day at a time, enjoy each day, feel each moment and be grateful for what is today. It could all be gone tomorrow.

Easier said than done and even easier read than done.

Sometimes I have to actively stop all my thoughts to ask myself “Am I in the moment?”. I’m usually not. But I would like to be. I’m trying.

Now A2 and A3 are fighting over a toy. Should I interfere? Or let them sort it out on their own. I usually let them deal with each other, I’m not even sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel like today’s adults are much more involved in the children’s lives. I remember playing in the basement or outside a lot, without my parents hearing all the nonsense I said.

Not sure if it’s a bad or good thing.

I’m going to suddenly change the topic now.

There have been many posts that I’ve deleted, sometimes I felt they went nowhere and other times I felt they were too chaotic and no one in their right mind would be able to follow.

Well, from now on, I’m going to post all of my drafts.

Today a good friend of mine gathered her courage and told me “Your posts need structure, I start reading and give up mid-way because I can’t even follow”

Oh my I gotta go, A2 went inside, she might attack A3, and she has chalk on her face. Not sure if she ate some.

To be continued…

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Beating the Sunday Night Blues

It’s now Sunday evening and the A1 and A2 are asleep. A3 is barely 3 months old so she alternates between sleep and wake periods throughout the day and same for the nights.

Weekends here are just so chaotic that I must say, and don’t hate me for it, thank goodness for Monday!

The best part of being on maternity leave (or not working) is not having that weird sensation in your stomach on Sunday night. You know what I mean? Like a light tickle in your abdomen that leaves you a bit nauseous and aware of your heart rate.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re lucky.

A good way to get rid of that feeling is to implement something enjoyable to your Monday morning and focus on that thought on Sunday evening. Like a Mocha Choco Moko Latte express or something. I dunno, I just made that up…

Another way, is to break up your day in your mind and think of all the things you need to do separately (take the bus, meeting, presentation, class).  For each part ask yourself “Is this what’s stressing me?”  This will help you either pinpoint the exact cause for that feeling, or better yet, you’ll realize that nothing about Monday is stressing you and the feeling will just disappear.  I usually go through this thought process while lying in bed or in the shower.

I’m not an expert, but this is what worked for me.

Let me know if it works for you.

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