Beethoven Getting Me Up
How about writing to Beethoven. I have Beethoven’s Symphony 7 playing in my headphones as I write this blog post. I’m hoping he will inspire me some kind of genius…So far it’s complicated. Just let go I’m thinking to myself. Just let the words flow, let the thoughts flow. Trust your fingers to move quickly and grab every idea before they vanish away into thin air where they came from. I’m just starting to understand the struggles of an artist. They explode in creativity yet they have to leave desire aside in order to conform to society, succeed and earn a living. I’m a mother of three also trying to find balance between duty and desire.
Balance in general is really what I’m after. Just balance.
I can’t deny that there are times when I can’t help but be sad. The exhaustion gets to me and I start thinking of all the negative sides of my life. But then I suddenly realize that I’m being extremely ungrateful and I bring myself back. I believe being happy is having the capacity to realize that you are sad and have the capacity to bring yourself back to happiness If you choose to. I’ve realized that when I’m sad or down my whole family comes down with me. My children throw more tantrums, my husband suddenly starts complaining… I’m learning to recognize when I’m feeling low and am learning to cheer myself up. Might sound goofy but it’s quite a process. Imagine talking yourself from sad, exhausted and having a bad day to feeling extremely happy, energetic ready to face a day full of challenges just in a few minutes!
Especially if you are a mom, you need to talk yourself out of the low. Post-partum depression is a very real thing and I personally didn’t realize I was having it until I was pretty deep in. I realize I am responsible for my own happiness and energy levels. I want to be happy so I will be happy.
“It’s easy for you to be happy, you have everything” someone once told me. But I can truly say that being happy in the first place is what led me to all the wonderful things in my life. When you are emitting positive energies things just seem to work out. I’m not sure about destiny but I believe there’s a possibility in any direction you go. One just needs to decide in which direction they are going.
Personally I choose up.