I use to not be such a fan of animals but my readings on consciousness have changed that about me. They’ve taught me to observe animals and to learn. Many meditation exercises include animals such as conscious butterfly watching.
Seriously when is the last time you watched a butterfly fly?
I watch a squirrel in our backyard and I wonder. Does the mama squirrel stress out over all the chores she has to do? Does she worry that she won’t build the shelter in time or that she won’t store enough food for the winter? I wonder, does she doubt herself or does she believe in herself?
Is an animal even able to imagine a worst case scenario?
A squirrel is surely capable of fear towards something real but unless it’s dreaming I would imagine it cannot scare itself by imagining worst case scenarios for herself and her fuzzy family. She doesn’t stress too much about it she just goes out there every day, rain or shine. She climbs the trees, stores de fruit, hides the nuts. She just does what she’s got to do to prepare for winter. Every day she trusts that the sun will go down and then come up again tomorrow.
Hmm I guess these books are right. Apparently I can learn from animals.
Now this mama squirrel has to go do mama squirrel things.
But still, I cannot help but wonder. Does that mama squirrel ever feel like she needs a crazy night out to party and unwind?
It’s almost 9:30 pm. 23 month old A2 is standing up wailing in her crib. 5 year old A1 who shares the bedroom is narrating what’s happening and A3 just woke up by the chaos.
It’s these moments that keep me in peace.
A2 just tossed her blanket and pacifier out of her crib again. I tried explaining to her that if she tosses them again, she won’t get them back… but we both know that she won’t sleep without them. So this is another mind game.
She threw them out, again, and she’s still crying. I tried taking them for a while. She cried… I held on to them for a few minutes then gave them back. That will work, I hoped.
Well it didn’t. She tossed them out within the same second and is still crying.
I went back to my chair without picking them up. And here I am. I’ve written about the chair before. I have a chair set up outside their bedroom, where I sit until they fall asleep. It’s been a while though. They’ve been good lately and didn’t require me to sit here until they fell asleep. But A2’s getting close to the crazy two’s and so I’m back here again.
It’s been a few minutes, I’m wondering if I should get up and hand her the pacifier and blanket just yet. Her cries are sounding more and more tiresome, with yawning intervals.
I got up and handed them to her, came back to my seat. I talked to her…I shouldn’t have talked to her.
She just threw them out again!
She wins this round, again.
Why don’t I just yell at her?
Because then I would teach her that yelling is a mean of communication that I use.
Because then she will fall asleep with fear having been her last emotion of the day.
Because then I would have put my child to bed in anger.
I’m hoping there’s a better solution.
I’ll figure it out…eventually.
This isn’t working.
A1 just suggested “call dad.”
Ya, call Jack and have him do the dirty work…
Ok one more try…
I tried the utter most tenderness. I went in, didn’t say a word picked her up, held her tight, kissed her, cleaned her face from tears, leaned down with her, she reached for her blanket and pacifier. I stood up, still not saying a word, I pointed to my cheek, she reached in and gave me a kiss. Then I pointed to her crib, placed her in. Sung her a lullaby and walked out.
Went back to my chair.
By the time my butt touched the seat …
She was already up and bawling again.
That was a complete fail.
Jack just came up. He gave it a go…
He tried tenderness, some discipline, yelled a little, played a little, danced a little…
Still a no go.
We should make them pay for tickets at this point, because we’ve become a show!
Ok I’m desperate; it’s been over 40 minutes. I know she’s tired.
I take out my phone and go online. Search for an Armenian Lullaby. I play it and go back to my seat.
This song is really beautiful.
The power of music…
They’re sleeping in peace, no one got mad at another, no anger, no fear, no guilt.
Just love and music.
Ah… now that this is done, I should start with my chores… I’ll rest when I’m old.
P.S Listen to this song, it will make any man, woman or child give in to slumber.