Tag Archives: happiness

What Robin Williams’ death has to do with you.

Your friend posted something about Robin Williams and you read RIP in the comments and your heart skips a beat. You start looking at your social media network home page to see if anyone else is talking about this. Can it really be true? You find statuses pouring about the topic. Perhaps it’s another fake internet death so you search for more information until we have to face the truth that our favourite actor is gone. It hits home because we feel like we know him. We all grew up with Mrs. Doubtfire, and after all watching that movie at least a dozen times he ‘s become part our childhoods and lives forever. It’s not fair to describe his acting achievements with only one movie In which he cross dresses , but growing up whenever I saw Robin Williams in a movie I always thought of Mrs.Doubtfire. I’ll never forget my dad yelling to us from upstairs as we we’re playing in the basement “turn on channel 22! Madame Budwizer is on!” And we would laugh thinking we we’re so much smarter because we knew it was Doubtfire and not Budwizer .
Once you get past the initial shock of this man’s death , what I would really like us to focus on is the cause.
Experts are claiming that it was probably a suicide because he was severely depressed.
Let that sink for a moment . Severely depressed, endless awards, loved by fans, millionaire, successful …
Severely depressed.
I’m not going to try to describe depression , it’s causes and treatments in this single post , but I do want to raise some awareness about the issue. I also want to take the time to remind everyone that he had anything anyone could wish for, but he was unhappy. Take your grief for this man that we all loved and turn it into appreciation for all the good things in your life. Ambition is a great thing to have and it is good to want more , as long as we appreciate and are grateful for the present and everything that we have and are today. Seek happiness and love as much as you seek financial success. Invest your energies and appreciation into the present and live fully now not awaiting the next achievement . Robin Williams taught us many life lessons from his movies and now, in death he teaches us the biggest one yet. Appreciate your life, be happy with what you’re given and make the most of what you have.
Depression is a disease and it is not because we are rich and famous that we are spared from it. Although it doesn’t mean that we are ungrateful if we are depressed , gratitude is a means to reach happiness and happiness definitely helps avoid depression .
I know that, from now on, whenever I see Robin Williams on screen I will be reminded of the blessings in my own life and focus on being even happier today and now .
What better lesson could he have given us?
Thank you Mr.Williams and may you rest in peace.
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Dear Friend

You’ve been on my mind ever since I read your e-mail. Thank you for the updates and thank you for the congratulations.  On my end, life is hectic but I’m trying to make the best out of all situations, learning and growing every day. Everyone has reason to feel troublesome but know that happiness comes from within and therefor can never be lost. I just want to tell you to keep hope, and keep dreaming and wishing.

Sometimes we feel as though our dreams have not been fulfilled or goals not obtained, and then every time we think about these dreams or goals, our hearts fill with pain and our minds with fill with worry. I’ve learned that the best way is to be here in the now, appreciative and accepting of every single thing that is, emptying our hearts from pain and minds from worry. It took me many years to become this way, but as I said, every day is a step forward. I’ve learned that being here, now and constantly reminding myself of the things I am grateful for bring me in a state of bliss in which dreams can’t help but to manifest.

I might sound crazy, but I’ve learned more than I can handle these past few years. When a thought, dream or wish brings you to a blissful state, it is coming into your reality.

Be hopeful and happy, here, now.

Grateful and accepting, here, now.

And the world will be yours.

I love you, and wish that your dreams come true.

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A real talk: The son I loved and the gunman I feared.

I was barricaded in my glass home, and could see a masked gunman getting out of his car walking towards me. Somehow I knew who he was and why I was his target. I ran to the back of the house and handed my two year old son to a neighbour and watched as he was dragged away kicking and screaming with his arms reaching out to me. My heart shattered, for I knew this would be the last time I saw him. My body was overwhelmed in a sense of panic; I could feel my heart rate racing and my breaths getting shorter.

Suddenly I wake up.

It was a dream.

For a brief instance, I did believe it all. I had a son who I loved and a gunman who I feared. They were all real at the time. Everything that I base myself on to define reality was involved in this illusion. My senses wronged me, my memory failed me and my common sense was outright absent.

I realized all this when I woke up. Or else, I’d still believe it.

So what tells me that I’m not dreaming right now?

Who’s to say that right now is nothing but an illusion?

Quantum physics theorists state that matter as we know it does not exist. They compare “matter” to a hologram. According to them, a difference in vibrational frequencies is what differs the visible from the invisible, or the tangible from the intangible.

So basically, it is all an illusion. Kind of like my dream.

Real for now … until something else is reality.

Perhaps when we die, we wake up from this illusion into another dimension of reality, just like I woke up from my dream, back into this life.

My dream was my reality, while my reality was right there…sleeping. My dream and my life were both real, at the same time, in the same place, but in different dimensions.

Life is the same. The reality we seek is present, at all times. Except for now, this dimension is the one we perceive as our reality.

Heaven is here.

Hell is here.

Don’t worry so much. Just ride the wave. Someday, we’re going to wake up from this, and realize we had nothing to fear all along.

Perhaps, if someone had told me I was dreaming, while I was dreaming, I would’ve realized that whatever was happening was a creation of my subconscious mind. Perhaps, if I were aware that I was dreaming within the dream, I could focus, concentrate on my inner self and communicate with my real self. Basically just think to myself. Perhaps, if I realized that I, the I that I am, who is sleeping and dreaming of a glass house, a gunman and a son, perhaps I, could’ve changed the outcome of the dream.

Perhaps if I were conscious, I would have more control.

If life is an illusion, as these physicists claim, if life is a vibrational frequency, a reality within a parallel universe…then to me, it sounds exactly like a dream.

So how do I take control of this dream? Can I take control of this life?

Is the power of consciousness real? Is the power of the mindset real? How about the power of attraction?

This is where I am now, testing all this out, within myself.

I’ll let you know what happens…you know I always do.

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Bed time: A mind war

It’s almost 9:30 pm. 23 month old A2 is standing up wailing in her crib. 5 year old A1 who shares the bedroom is narrating what’s happening and A3 just woke up by the chaos.


It’s these moments that keep me in peace.

A2 just tossed her blanket and pacifier out of her crib again. I tried explaining to her that if she tosses them again, she won’t get them back… but we both know that she won’t sleep without them. So this is another mind game.

She threw them out, again, and she’s still crying. I tried taking them for a while. She cried… I held on to them for a few minutes then gave them back. That will work, I hoped.

Well it didn’t. She tossed them out within the same second and is still crying.

I went back to my chair without picking them up. And here I am. I’ve written about the chair before. I have a chair set up outside their bedroom, where I sit until they fall asleep. It’s been a while though. They’ve been good lately and didn’t require me to sit here until they fell asleep. But A2’s getting close to the crazy two’s and so I’m back here again.

It’s been a few minutes, I’m wondering if I should get up and hand her the pacifier and blanket just yet. Her cries are sounding more and more tiresome, with yawning intervals.

I got up and handed them to her, came back to my seat. I talked to her…I shouldn’t have talked to her.

She just threw them out again!

She wins this round, again.

Why don’t I just yell at her?

Because then I would teach her that yelling is a mean of communication that I use.

Because then she will fall asleep with fear having been her last emotion of the day.

Because then I would have put my child to bed in anger.

I’m hoping there’s a better solution.

I’ll figure it out…eventually.

This isn’t working.

A1 just suggested “call dad.”

Ya, call Jack and have him do the dirty work…

Ok one more try…

I tried the utter most tenderness. I went in, didn’t say a word picked her up, held her tight, kissed her, cleaned her face from tears, leaned down with her, she reached for her blanket and pacifier. I stood up, still not saying a word, I pointed to my cheek, she reached in and gave me a kiss. Then I pointed to her crib, placed her in. Sung her a lullaby and walked out.

Went back to my chair.

By the time my butt touched the seat …

She was already up and bawling again.

That was a complete fail.

Jack just came up. He gave it a go…

He tried tenderness, some discipline, yelled a little, played a little, danced a little…

Still a no go.

He leaves.

We should make them pay for tickets at this point, because we’ve become a show!

Ok I’m desperate; it’s been over 40 minutes. I know she’s tired.

I take out my phone and go online. Search for an Armenian Lullaby. I play it and go back to my seat.

She stopped.

This song is really beautiful.

She’s sleeping.


The power of music…

They’re sleeping in peace, no one got mad at another, no anger, no fear, no guilt.

Just love and music.

Ah… now that this is done, I should start with my chores… I’ll rest when I’m old.


P.S Listen to this song, it will make any man, woman or child give in to slumber.


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A Real Hippopotamus

Finally, kids are asleep. That includes A3 who now at almost 4 months just started a semi-regular sleeping pattern.

What an evening it was ! Supper time was ultimate choas, A2 was covered in food by the end of it and we later found left overs in her diaper. A1 refused to eat, so out came the threats.

“You threaten your kids? Shame on you!”

I do whatever needs to be done. Threats, blackmail, we all do it, let’s not kid ourselves… “If you don’t eat I’ll tell the tooth fairy not to come see you in two years when you start losing your teeth”.

A1’s super excited about the tooth fairy business but she’s still only 4.

The other night, when I was lying in bed next to her as she requested, she was talking. I was so tired that I was slipping in and out of sleep. She was saying “Baby teeth don’t have roots, that’s why it doesn’t hurt when they fall” (is that even true?) When I woke up again she was saying “The eagle is the king of birds” and then I must have fallen asleep again. When I opened my eyes a few minutes later she was making shadows on the wall. Next thing I know i feel a little finger poking my face “Mommy, you’re sleeping ? But when am I going to see a REAL hippopotamus?”

Tonight A1 went up to bed by herself and this  is a big deal is this house. Jack and I can stop arguing over who’s turn it is to do it. We do it in code obviously.

“Ok time for bed, daddy’s going to take you up tonight !”

Daddy: But mommy! You should go, you tell such great stories !

Me: Yes, but Daddy’s going to scratch your back!

Daddy:  Honey, who do you want to go up with you?

We all know the answer to that one… it never fails.


Ah! we’re going to regret this when they become teenagers and don’t want to have anything to do with us.

Parenting is a constant guilt trip.

Another big achievement in our house, A2 now picks us dirty rolled diapers and puts them in the trash. Then gives herself a round of applause.

With A3 sleeping a little better, A1 going to bed by herself and A2 picking up diapers, alot is changing around here. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then again, perhaps I don’t want to see the light, I don’t want this tunnel to end…

All this house playing business can get overwhelming but my overall attitude is to stay calm and truly enjoy it. They say “It passes fast, enjoy them”… and boy are they right.

Ah…I  miss them already, I’m going to go watch them sleep now.

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