Tag Archives: bed time

Bed time: A mind war

It’s almost 9:30 pm. 23 month old A2 is standing up wailing in her crib. 5 year old A1 who shares the bedroom is narrating what’s happening and A3 just woke up by the chaos.

Beautiful.

It’s these moments that keep me in peace.

A2 just tossed her blanket and pacifier out of her crib again. I tried explaining to her that if she tosses them again, she won’t get them back… but we both know that she won’t sleep without them. So this is another mind game.

She threw them out, again, and she’s still crying. I tried taking them for a while. She cried… I held on to them for a few minutes then gave them back. That will work, I hoped.

Well it didn’t. She tossed them out within the same second and is still crying.

I went back to my chair without picking them up. And here I am. I’ve written about the chair before. I have a chair set up outside their bedroom, where I sit until they fall asleep. It’s been a while though. They’ve been good lately and didn’t require me to sit here until they fell asleep. But A2’s getting close to the crazy two’s and so I’m back here again.

It’s been a few minutes, I’m wondering if I should get up and hand her the pacifier and blanket just yet. Her cries are sounding more and more tiresome, with yawning intervals.

I got up and handed them to her, came back to my seat. I talked to her…I shouldn’t have talked to her.

She just threw them out again!

She wins this round, again.

Why don’t I just yell at her?

Because then I would teach her that yelling is a mean of communication that I use.

Because then she will fall asleep with fear having been her last emotion of the day.

Because then I would have put my child to bed in anger.

I’m hoping there’s a better solution.

I’ll figure it out…eventually.

This isn’t working.

A1 just suggested “call dad.”

Ya, call Jack and have him do the dirty work…

Ok one more try…

I tried the utter most tenderness. I went in, didn’t say a word picked her up, held her tight, kissed her, cleaned her face from tears, leaned down with her, she reached for her blanket and pacifier. I stood up, still not saying a word, I pointed to my cheek, she reached in and gave me a kiss. Then I pointed to her crib, placed her in. Sung her a lullaby and walked out.

Went back to my chair.

By the time my butt touched the seat …

She was already up and bawling again.

That was a complete fail.

Jack just came up. He gave it a go…

He tried tenderness, some discipline, yelled a little, played a little, danced a little…

Still a no go.

He leaves.

We should make them pay for tickets at this point, because we’ve become a show!

Ok I’m desperate; it’s been over 40 minutes. I know she’s tired.

I take out my phone and go online. Search for an Armenian Lullaby. I play it and go back to my seat.

She stopped.

This song is really beautiful.

She’s sleeping.

Unbelievable!

The power of music…

They’re sleeping in peace, no one got mad at another, no anger, no fear, no guilt.

Just love and music.

Ah… now that this is done, I should start with my chores… I’ll rest when I’m old.

Goodnight.

P.S Listen to this song, it will make any man, woman or child give in to slumber.

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A Happy Parenting Secret: How to deal with a toddler’s bed time tantrums.

Lately A2’s been throwing bed time tantrums. She’s almost 2 now. She decides she wants to go to bed, grabs her pacifier, blanket and bottle, does her rounds, says good night to everyone in the house, goes up the stairs and willing goes into her crib. All seems well … until we leave the room.

I’m sitting on a rocking chair, in the hallway, right outside A2’s bedroom where she can see me.

She’s standing up in her crib yelling. She just threw her pacifier, bottle and blanket out.

A2: “Mommmmmmmmmmy!”

Me: “Mommy’s here.”

I just got up, and handed her the pacifier and blanket. She reached out her arms “Please! Please!” and she’s crying really hard. I went back to my chair.

“Mommy’s here” is all I keep repeating.

I’m trying this technique I was taught when A1 was throwing bed time tantrums a few years ago. It worked back then with her, now I’m hoping it will work on A2.

I was told by a family member who is the principal of a daycare, to sit outside her room where she could see me. Make sure you’re not IN her room, she specified. So back then I set up the rocking chair outside A1’s room and I would sit there for 30 to 40 minutes every day until she fell asleep. I was pregnant with A2 then. I loved that time on that chair. If something needed to be done during the day I would leave it for “chair time”, I would fold the laundry, sow, even iron in that spot. Oh I just remembered how Jack would make me ginger tea for my nausea back then. And when I finished my chores, I would read. I’ve never read as much as I’ve read in this chair outside A1’s room.

Here I am, almost two years later, in the same spot.20130625-220158.jpg

It seems to have workedon A2. She’s not crying anymore, and she has her head down.

I love the chair time because you’re on duty but it’s still “me” time.  I’m so happy to be sitting here again. I guess this is where I’ll be blogging from now on.

Now that the Stanley Cup has been won and there’s no more Hockey I was worried about when I’ll have  the chance to blog…but everything worked out.

She’s fallen asleep.

Most of the time I question my parenting skills and wonder if I’m doing the right thing, but it feels so good when I know I’ve done something right.

I’m really happy to be on the chair again, I had forgotten how great it was.

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6 Months Old Flapping Arm

We just put all of the kids to sleep.  Putting A3 to bed is starting to get tricky. She’s going to be 6 months soon  and her arms moves uncontrollably. At that age they have this weird arm flapping motion. At bed time their arm starts flapping as if they’re trying to whack a fly, they get all excited and then you can forget about them sleeping. Then as soon as that’s done with and they’re starting to dose off, they grab and pull their own ear or pull their own hair, wake themselves up and then cry as if someone else did it.

So you need to gently hold their arms down and try to find a comfortable position for them. Supposing baby is lying on the back, you can fold over the blanket under one arm and place the other arm on their tummy.

Once you control the arm situation, it’s all good… for a while, until they’re 7 months old and  then it’s something else!

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