Tag Archives: self-help

Bed time: A mind war

It’s almost 9:30 pm. 23 month old A2 is standing up wailing in her crib. 5 year old A1 who shares the bedroom is narrating what’s happening and A3 just woke up by the chaos.

Beautiful.

It’s these moments that keep me in peace.

A2 just tossed her blanket and pacifier out of her crib again. I tried explaining to her that if she tosses them again, she won’t get them back… but we both know that she won’t sleep without them. So this is another mind game.

She threw them out, again, and she’s still crying. I tried taking them for a while. She cried… I held on to them for a few minutes then gave them back. That will work, I hoped.

Well it didn’t. She tossed them out within the same second and is still crying.

I went back to my chair without picking them up. And here I am. I’ve written about the chair before. I have a chair set up outside their bedroom, where I sit until they fall asleep. It’s been a while though. They’ve been good lately and didn’t require me to sit here until they fell asleep. But A2’s getting close to the crazy two’s and so I’m back here again.

It’s been a few minutes, I’m wondering if I should get up and hand her the pacifier and blanket just yet. Her cries are sounding more and more tiresome, with yawning intervals.

I got up and handed them to her, came back to my seat. I talked to her…I shouldn’t have talked to her.

She just threw them out again!

She wins this round, again.

Why don’t I just yell at her?

Because then I would teach her that yelling is a mean of communication that I use.

Because then she will fall asleep with fear having been her last emotion of the day.

Because then I would have put my child to bed in anger.

I’m hoping there’s a better solution.

I’ll figure it out…eventually.

This isn’t working.

A1 just suggested “call dad.”

Ya, call Jack and have him do the dirty work…

Ok one more try…

I tried the utter most tenderness. I went in, didn’t say a word picked her up, held her tight, kissed her, cleaned her face from tears, leaned down with her, she reached for her blanket and pacifier. I stood up, still not saying a word, I pointed to my cheek, she reached in and gave me a kiss. Then I pointed to her crib, placed her in. Sung her a lullaby and walked out.

Went back to my chair.

By the time my butt touched the seat …

She was already up and bawling again.

That was a complete fail.

Jack just came up. He gave it a go…

He tried tenderness, some discipline, yelled a little, played a little, danced a little…

Still a no go.

He leaves.

We should make them pay for tickets at this point, because we’ve become a show!

Ok I’m desperate; it’s been over 40 minutes. I know she’s tired.

I take out my phone and go online. Search for an Armenian Lullaby. I play it and go back to my seat.

She stopped.

This song is really beautiful.

She’s sleeping.

Unbelievable!

The power of music…

They’re sleeping in peace, no one got mad at another, no anger, no fear, no guilt.

Just love and music.

Ah… now that this is done, I should start with my chores… I’ll rest when I’m old.

Goodnight.

P.S Listen to this song, it will make any man, woman or child give in to slumber.

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A Seagull in the Garbage

It’s 8 am and I didn’t sleep for more than 45 minutes straight tonight. It was one of these nights where A3’s regular every two hour feedings woke up A2 who threw a fit and woke up A1. At about 3:40 am this morning all three were crying.

Yes A3 is 8 months old and still wakes up every two hours. How come? I don’t know. To make sure I’m a sleepless mother of three. A2 wasn’t like this. Each child is completely different. The way they eat or sleep has really nothing to do with the way you raise them. I’ve raised all three the same, yet A1 won’t eat anything unless you are very persuasive or the food is pink while A2 will steal your sandwich if you look away, like some kind of starving seagull.

Exhausted to the core, I’ve never been this tired in my entire life. I’ll rest when I’m old, I figure. They’re bound to grow up, eat, drink and poop on their own…I suppose. How do moms do it? We just do it! We don’t think about it too much, we just do what needs to be done. It is completely useless to sulk on the negative and concentrate on your fatigue. The more you think about it, the more of a presence it has in your life. I try to take it like a one shot super long shift of a job that I love.

The worst is when you’re sick. Nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea?  Nope! Can’t call in sick for this job. You just gotta keep doing what you’re doing and tough it out. Sit on that toilet and tell a story at the same time! Hold back your nausea while feeding them and if you get really dizzy push a few toys off the couch, lie down and call out their names one by one just to make sure that one of them hasn’t figured out a way to open the front door and isn’t already playing in your garbage that’s out on the street.

Take a guess!! Which one do you think did that…A2 of course!

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ADVOCATE TO THE PARTY MAMA

Almost the end of Canada day and I didn’t even have a chance to think about it… The kids are finally asleep and I finally sat down, my fingers are literally shaking, my knees hurt and I have a massive migraine behind my left eye. I can’t just say nothing and make it sound like the children are responsible of this… We went out last night and came back home when the birds were singing. (Babysitting arrangements were made of course and our minds were at ease.) But one thing I’m truly a champ at is getting up a couple of hours later to my three kids, hang over free, ready to rock and roll!

I focus on my state of mind and hope my body will follow. I’ve mentioned before how difficult it is for parents to go out, because we feel as though it’s really got to be worth it. If you’re going to leave your kids, make babysitting arrangements, stay up late and miss out on precious sleep time because your children are waking up before 7 am the next day, then YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME!

That’s why we attack that bottle as soon as we can. So don’t go judging the party mama! If you believe in “Work hard, play hard” then that Mama should be taking shots at the end of an ice slide, chugging beers like  Frank the Tank, dancing on the speakers and doing whatever the hell she wants!!

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Now

Graduation season makes us realize how fast time is flying by. You start seeing time in a different perspective once you have kids. They’re a great reminder of “Be in the moment” and “enjoy it”.

Kids and pets will constantly remind you to be in the moment.

And it’s truly to our advantage to be, the past is gone and the future is still just a thought, so unless you want to live in imaginary world the now is the only choice you have.

Live in the now..bla bla bla, we’ve all heard it before. But are we listening…no. What are we waiting for?

I’ve been making huge efforts lately to be in the now. It’s not easy. I’m constantly overwhelmed with 3000 thoughts at a time and to ignore it all to feel the moment is hard, but oh so worth it.

When I have trouble concentrating I imagine the moment in a bigger perspective. Kind of hard to explain, I just tried phrasing an explanation five times. It’s not working.

I’ll have to take some time and write a different post about the moment in a bigger perspective.

Stay Tuned.

Dream big.

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No more excuses!

Time has come for me to make changes in my current daily life. I don’t eat enough, I stress too much, I am insomniac, partly because of the kids but mostly because of my thoughts that don’t stop and keep me awake all through the night! I’m in such lack of sleep that I have a constant shake in my hands and my left eye is twitching, not any kind of twitch, a really strong one…it looks like I’m winking at everybody and everything. This needs to stop, before I get new problems…wink wink

“What are you stressing about?”

Everything!

I’ve realized that I’ve been stressing for the past 4 months ever since A3’s been born. It’s time for me to take back control of my health. I want to be healthy, and take care of my family for a long long time.

I’ve learned quit a bit about myself lately. I thought of myself as a laid back, no stress, take it as it comes, go with the flow kind of person. And I was, but not lately.  Lately I’m always thinking and I’m always worried. I have to relax and learn to take things as they come, like I use to.

Sometimes I think that I was wiser when I was younger. The older I get the more the hormones and the stress get to me. I can’t let them win!

Today, is day one of Operation get the real Julie back. 

Lately I’ve been over thinking things, I don’t know how yet, but this must stop. I guess admitting I have a problem is the first step? I’ve been skipping meals, ever since A3’s been born I’ve gone full days without anything to eat… and then I wonder why my breast milk supply ended.

No more excuses! Yes I have 3 kids but it was my choice and I can’t use them as an excuse to not be healthy! ( Well, not really by choice…by luck…if you know what I mean)

3 meals a day from now on!

Spring is here, I need to get out and get moving.

And for the over thinking and anxiety… maybe I should pick up meditation?  I’ve tried it a few times, at home with an online video… a bit scary at first for an over imaginative mind like mine, but definitely effective.

Now that I’ve put this action plan out in public, I can’t go back on my word. (Hopefully)

And just maybe, after all of this…I’ll have the energy to keep my house organized. But that’s a long shot!

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“Happens to me all the time” or ” this girl’s out of her mind”

Sometimes it takes me a long time to figure out something about myself. Once I do, I realize that I unconsciously already knew what I just figured out, and not only that, but have already moved towards the path I just figured out I should take.

Right now you’re either thinking “Happens to me all the time” or “This girl’s out of her mind”.

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Why a blog?

 I haven’t blogged in a few days and it’s been bothering me. 

This is not working. Every time something happens I try to memorize it so that I can later write it in my journal. When I eventually have some time I try to read my journal (whatever I had time to write) so that I can blog about it. Since no there’s way I have time to do all that, I’m going to have to say goodbye to my notebook.

Aha! Did you think I was going to say “the Blog “just there? Well since I don’t want that to happen, I’m getting get rid of the notebook and I’m going to keep writing what I’m thinking in the moment.

Sunday night, I joined some friends at a Super Bowl party after the kid’s bed time.  On my way home I almost got into a bad car accident. The reason was simply that I was thinking about a million things at the same time, and therefore was distracted.

I’m usually good at finding fun ways to manage the kids and keeping my stress level down, but recently, after having baby # 3 I must admit it’s been a challenge. I really need to make some adjustments in order to come back to my usual self. There’s only so much I can do with the kids and the chaos but there’s a lot I can do with myself.  I guess this blog can be the first step by giving me a way to vent.

(To be continued)

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