April 11, 2013 · 10:18 pm
Kids are asleep and Jack’s watching the game.
This morning when I changed A3’s diaper, half a pretzel came out of it. How did it get there? Probably A2’s doing. I felt really bad, imagine spending the night with a sharp edged piece of Pretzel in your underwear.
I’ve had my loved ones worry about me after the last post Face your fears and look inside. There’s nothing to worry about, I think I’m on the right track by being conscious of it all. It being how I feel, what I think…
We’re all pretty fragile if you think about it. What are emotions? Emotions are a direct result of non-other than chemistry, hormones and neurotransmitters …
“It’s normal, you just had three kids”
Yes it’s normal that my body is out of balance and that it leaves me feeling anxious, and out of my usual self. It might be normal, but I don’t want it. I want to be in control of my own emotions and feelings.
I better learn to do what I need to do before menopause comes along with 5 times more chemical imbalances and makes me go completely insane for good. If you’ve ever felt cranky or moody because of your period cycle, because you’ve been overworked or because of lack of sleep, then you’re in the exact same boat as me, letting your body influence your mood.
Since men naturally don’t experience many drastic hormonal shifts in their life time, they are more stable in this perspective. I look at Jack, and seems like all he needs to relax and unwind is watching a good game of Hockey.
We went to a game last Saturday; it practically felt like a religious gathering. 21 273 people gathered, uniting their thoughts and positive energy towards the same goal and chanting is unison… If Hockey matters to these people as much as is matters to Jack, then it practically is a religion. In the end isn’t it the role of religion to bring beings to peace, tame their worries and bring them closer together?
This is what I was thinking about during the game… then I started staring at the building’s structure and started to worry about its stability and where we should head in case of an emergency…
Do we ever stop worrying?!
All this to say, I am now conscious of the effect of physical life events on my inner self and I want to gain full control of it. I want to be who I am no matter what hormonal phase of my life I’m in, no matter how much sleep I’ve had and no matter how much stress this life throws my way.
How? Not sure yet …
But I’ll find a way.
P.S A great win for our team tonight. Extra yey for me!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tagged as anxiety, biology, change, consiousness, diaper, emotions, family, feeling, hockey, hormones, inner self, kids, lack of sleep, Life, man, menopause, mom, mood, overwroked, perios, pretzel, real life, reality, religion, stress, woman, worry
March 27, 2013 · 11:58 am
Time has come for me to make changes in my current daily life. I don’t eat enough, I stress too much, I am insomniac, partly because of the kids but mostly because of my thoughts that don’t stop and keep me awake all through the night! I’m in such lack of sleep that I have a constant shake in my hands and my left eye is twitching, not any kind of twitch, a really strong one…it looks like I’m winking at everybody and everything. This needs to stop, before I get new problems…wink wink
“What are you stressing about?”
I’ve realized that I’ve been stressing for the past 4 months ever since A3’s been born. It’s time for me to take back control of my health. I want to be healthy, and take care of my family for a long long time.
I’ve learned quit a bit about myself lately. I thought of myself as a laid back, no stress, take it as it comes, go with the flow kind of person. And I was, but not lately. Lately I’m always thinking and I’m always worried. I have to relax and learn to take things as they come, like I use to.
Sometimes I think that I was wiser when I was younger. The older I get the more the hormones and the stress get to me. I can’t let them win!
Today, is day one of Operation get the real Julie back.
Lately I’ve been over thinking things, I don’t know how yet, but this must stop. I guess admitting I have a problem is the first step? I’ve been skipping meals, ever since A3’s been born I’ve gone full days without anything to eat… and then I wonder why my breast milk supply ended.
No more excuses! Yes I have 3 kids but it was my choice and I can’t use them as an excuse to not be healthy! ( Well, not really by choice…by luck…if you know what I mean)
3 meals a day from now on!
Spring is here, I need to get out and get moving.
And for the over thinking and anxiety… maybe I should pick up meditation? I’ve tried it a few times, at home with an online video… a bit scary at first for an over imaginative mind like mine, but definitely effective.
Now that I’ve put this action plan out in public, I can’t go back on my word. (Hopefully)
And just maybe, after all of this…I’ll have the energy to keep my house organized. But that’s a long shot!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tagged as change, Health, insomnia, Life, mediataion, nutrition, parenting, positive, reality, self-help, stress, stress free, zen