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Zombie Mom

mombie5:59 am this morning our three kids barged into our bedroom fully disguised and yelled HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thanks for that morning jolt kids!  Jack woke up in a panic. I was in shock too. I was trying to understand how they were suddenly able to manage to dress themselves and get ready all by themselves when the rest of the school mornings they roll in their beds while I try to dress them.

Yup it’s Halloween aka mommy overtime. I apologize for my lack of enthusiasm, some days I am a Marry Poppins kind of mom but today doesn’t feel like one of those days. Today it’s just Zombie mom.

A working, cleaning, cooking, planning exhausted zombie mom.

I know I should make more time for myself. I’m trying but part of the problem is that we’ve been taught to play only after the work is done and the thing with motherhood is that the work is never done.

Never ever ever.

Never.

Oh how I had imagined parenthood in my dreams. I had only imagined the breezy and happy moments. I would imagine a happy family sitting at a dinner table. I used to imagine my future children so proper and well mannered. I thought of course they will sit still at dinner time, try to eat by themselves and engage into peaceful social interaction among themselves while we adults get a chance to catch up.

All I got to say to my young self is…

Ba-ha-ha! Ridiculous!

I guess the first stage of parenting is realizing how different it really is from what you could have ever imagined. The rest well I can’t really say. I’m still figuring it out for myself and truthfully it seems like the more the years pass the less I feel  I have it figured out.

Ok enough sulking let’s go hustle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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October 31, 2018 · 9:54 am

Just Grab Your Nuts

Just Grab Your Nuts

I use to not be such a fan of animals but my readings on consciousness have changed that about me. They’ve taught me to observe animals and to learn. Many meditation exercises include animals such as conscious butterfly watching.

Seriously when is the last time you watched a butterfly fly?

I watch a squirrel in our backyard and I wonder. Does the mama squirrel stress out over all the chores she has to do?  Does she worry that she won’t build the shelter in time or that she won’t store enough food for the winter?  I wonder, does she doubt herself or does she believe in herself?

Is an animal even able to imagine a worst case scenario?

Probably not.

A squirrel is surely capable of fear towards something real but unless it’s dreaming I would imagine it cannot scare itself by imagining worst case scenarios for herself and her fuzzy family. She doesn’t stress too much about it she just goes out there every day, rain or shine. She climbs the trees, stores de fruit, hides the nuts. She just does what she’s got to do to prepare for winter. Every day she trusts that the sun will go down and then come up again tomorrow.

Hmm I guess these books are right. Apparently I can learn from animals.

Now this mama squirrel has to go do mama squirrel things.

But still, I cannot help but wonder. Does that mama squirrel ever feel like she needs a crazy night out to party and unwind?

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Filed under Funny kids, happy parenting, Humor, life, Motherhood, Parenting, positive thinking, Success, Uncategorized, Yoga

Reactive or Proactive?

Why are articles on parenting so boring?  Why doesn’t anyone get to the point?  A2 has thrown a couple of  tantrums, the nasty kinds, down on the floor. Don’t judge me. A1 has always been such a civilized child I never thought I could have this little monster on my hands.

So I was reading an article on this in a parenting magazine. We do all of our reading in the bathroom, we have to maximize our efficiency if you know what I mean (if you’re going to be in the bathroom might as well learn something in the meantime). I read pages about children throwing tantrums, so much information… development phases, statistics, probable causes…Get to the point! What should I do if my child is on the floor, on her back, kicking her legs and banging her head?

Experts have a list of adequate interventions depending on the reason of your child’s outburst.

  • Related to lack of control (reactive)
  • Related to lack of means of expression (proactive)

So if you find yourself in this situation, say, in the middle of a grocery store, you should ask yourself : Reactive or Proactive?

Sounds so realistic, doesn’t it ?

And then out come the lists.

If it’s the reactive type, experts will  tell you :

  • Reassure your child
  • Give more specific directives
  • Situate them in time and space
  • Do not just tell them what’s forbidden, but what is permitted as well

Ok! so… (guessing it’s the reactive type) according to this list, this is what we should say:

“Honey, I love you, you’re safe, please stop jiggling on the floor, gently get up, be quiet, hold my hand, we are in the super market, it’s the after noon, it is not allowed for you to throw yourself on the floor but it is allowed to walk by mommy’s side”

Ya…I don’t think so…thank you Mr. and Mrs. experts. Thank you for nothing.

Sometimes I feel like those articles and even some books about parenting are written just to be written. As if it was one expert talking to another.

Hello! We’re here!

I could be considered  as one of those experts (well on paper anyways), I’ve read about all this stuff,  it definitely  doesn’t mean I know exactly what to do in every scenario. I don’t appreciate  fancy phrases and lists to dictate what a parent should do in a specific case as if it’s something  so obvious.

I have studied this stuff and have 3 kids of my own and this article doesn’t help me out one bit, how is it suppose to help anyone else?  I wonder if any of these experts have truly been in that situation or any of the situations they talk about for that matter.

Now I’m all worked up.

I’ll tell you, if you find yourself in that situation, first of all don’t think about what other people are thinking. Don’t be embarrassed, they don’t matter. Focus on yourself and your child, do what you would’ve done if you were home. I personally just stand still next to my child with my back turned to her.Ignoring her, while  staying close to ensure her safety. I give her time to get it out of her system, after about 10 to 20 seconds I gently tend to her. I hold my arms open for her (like asking for a hug), I repeat “it’s ok” I carry her and kiss her and tell her that it’s ok again.

I’m hardly ever angry at them, I’m mostly trying not to laugh in front of them when they’re doing something wrong.

Might be wrong, might be right but it works for me.

Never worry about what people are thinking. Focus on what’s important.

With that said, we went to the mall this past weekend. A2 had a baby leash and it was a great experience.

“It’s a child! Not a dog!”

Exactly, same way I wouldn’t want to lose my dog…I don’t want to lose my child!

leash

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