no structure…and looks like it will keep getting worse.

It’s after school but before supper. A1 and A2 are playing in the backyard while A3’s sleeping inside. I’m sitting on the porch. I’m just letting this sink in. They’re playing outside on their own. There not crying for me, they don’t need anything from me… just on their own.

Already?

It’s feels weird, bitter sweet in a way? I guess I’m going to be like those mothers who feel like their kids grew up too fast and then hold on to their youngest and never let them grow up.

Nah!

Sometimes I think ahead and wonder what kind of journey lies ahead with 3 teenage girls….

I watch Roseanne sometimes and get worried. “We’re quit alike” I think.

Don’t think too far ahead, take it one day at a time. Better yet, don’t only take it one day at a time, enjoy each day, feel each moment and be grateful for what is today. It could all be gone tomorrow.

Easier said than done and even easier read than done.

Sometimes I have to actively stop all my thoughts to ask myself “Am I in the moment?”. I’m usually not. But I would like to be. I’m trying.

Now A2 and A3 are fighting over a toy. Should I interfere? Or let them sort it out on their own. I usually let them deal with each other, I’m not even sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel like today’s adults are much more involved in the children’s lives. I remember playing in the basement or outside a lot, without my parents hearing all the nonsense I said.

Not sure if it’s a bad or good thing.

I’m going to suddenly change the topic now.

There have been many posts that I’ve deleted, sometimes I felt they went nowhere and other times I felt they were too chaotic and no one in their right mind would be able to follow.

Well, from now on, I’m going to post all of my drafts.

Today a good friend of mine gathered her courage and told me “Your posts need structure, I start reading and give up mid-way because I can’t even follow”

Oh my I gotta go, A2 went inside, she might attack A3, and she has chalk on her face. Not sure if she ate some.

To be continued…