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A2 drank from the toilet. Cheers!

Kids are finally asleep. Jack’s watching the games… Seems like all my posts starts the same way.

So A2 drank toilet water today. We were at my inlaw’s house, when Jack caught her standing in front of the toilet bowl, sucking on a wet hand towel whose other end was still in the toilet. Yey!

He called for me. By the time I got there everyone was gathered in the bathroom. I asked A1 “You went to the bathroom last,please tell me you didn’t forget to flush!”. There was water everywhere and she was soaked. We started to clean up when we realized she had gotten away again. “There’s another bathroom on this floor!” Jack yelled out. We ran to the bedroom bathroom and found her there plotting her next drink.

I wish I was the one who caught her doing that. I would’ve probably left her and ran for my camera.

Oh ya, and no, A1 hadn’t forgotten to flush!  Good girl.

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“Stop saying you’re a Hockey wife, you’re not a hockey wife.”

Game 3 of the first round is over.

Jack is in one of these moods…

“Stop saying you’re a Hockey wife, you’re not a hockey wife.”

So he says that, then the press conference starts with the Team coach and I know better than to argue with him during something he really wants to listen to.

This is what makes me a Hockey wife. You don’t need to be married to a professional Hockey player, as soon as hockey enters your wifely role in any shape or form, you are a hockey wife. During the playoffs, we can’t put the kids to bed until the period ends… not only am I a hockey wife but our children are Hockey kids!

We’re still watching the press conference, now it’s the opposite team’s coach speaking. I try to listen to what he’s saying. I understand the words individually but have to clue of the general idea. I just look at Jack’s face to know what I should feel about what he’s saying.

Same way our kids look at us to decide of their own emotions. That’s why you shouldn’t flip out when you see a spider. I did that once and saw the fear on  A1’s face. To be honest I’m not even that afraid of spiders, I’m just afraid of what one might do with that spider. I rather get over the disgust and dispose of it myself, instead of being chased around the house by a certain someone holding the squished thing in a Kleenex threatening to feed it to me.

 

 

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I’m a hockey wife and my happiness lies in your hands.

Kids in bed, dish washer emptied and reloaded, kitchen floor swept, counters cleaned and  toys picked and still, there is much more that could be done but I’m going to stop. It doesn’t really matter how many chores you do, what matters more is how much time you spend with your nose dug into your baby’s neck.

Jack is watching the game and that’s my cue to blog. Beautiful weather out, I’m set up on the porch, blogging under the stars.

A1 was all set up to watch the game with daddy, little tinker bell couch was moved to the basement for the occasion. She didn’t last too long, she came upstairs.

“Why did you come up?” I asked her.

“Daddy’s really upset!” as she said that we both heard Jack yell some obscenity that she hopefully didn’t understand and will not repeat. It’s the playoffs, things get intense around here. He’s yelling right now. I can hear him from outside. Neighbors are going to think we’re fighting. I hope they don’t call the cops for domestic disturbance.

Home phone just rang. It’s 10 pm! It’s my mom; she dialed the wrong number, again.

Are we going to be this funny to our kids one day? I won’t make fun of my mom when it comes to technology because she’s pretty advanced. The other night I had a girlfriend over when she received a call from her mother. “What’s my cell phone number?” she called to ask her daughter. lol

It’s the phone again, it’s my mom. “I noticed today that you’re out of milk”.

Me: I know ma, they drank our 1 % today.

Same way, when we run out of toilet paper, we use Kleenex. When we run out of Kleenex we use a paper towel roll and when that’s all gone we bring out the pile of napkins saved from fast food restaurants. That’s pretty rough on the skin, so a couple of rounds on that and then we’re sure to remember to buy toilet paper. Well, last time we kind of cheated the process, I just grabbed a few rolls of toilet paper from my mom’s house when we were there to visit. I also raid their fridge once in a while. Ok more than once in a while.

We treat my parents in law with the same respect. One day last fall, Jack decided he was going to prep the yard for the winter. “I’m going to go buy a rake, need anything from the store?”, he left, came back with his rake… a few weeks later we were at his parents’ house when his dad asked “Jack, are you done with the rake ?”. Jack never bothered going to the store, he just went to his parent’s garage and took what he needed. His argument: “It’s closer”. Of course it is! we live two streets down!

The rake is just one thing among a long list of things we “borrow”. See how independent we are?!

I’ve got to go check on Jack, I don’t know what I’m going to do with him if we lost this game.

I tweeted our team goalie yesterday: “I’m a hockey wife and my happiness lies in your hands. Good luck tomorrow. Xoxo” Then I got in trouble with Jack. “You’re putting too much pressure on him!”

Should I apologize to the guy?

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What are you Afraid of ?

Everybody’s afraid of something. Sure we all fear the same things, death, war, ghosts… but then we have that little something that’s not supposed to be scary but still really scares us.

I’m debating wether or not I should disclose my mini-phobia. After all, this is the internet, and telling your weaknesses to the world can only lead to one thing: empowerment.

So what are you afraid of?

I’ll go first…

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How do I link my facebook accout to my blog?

Ok, I can’t figure out how to link the accounts. I was hoping to do that before trying out Live Blogging.

Basically I’m posting directly on the Word Press website. I usually type it up on Word, like some kind of essay, then show it to Jack. Then, if it’s ok, I post it. But Jack is more conservative than me. I like to think that I’m more liberal.

Are we seriously talking about Politics?

Julietalks potitics

 

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Distracted

It’s Sunday night and as we wait for a new episode of Game of Thrones, I’m going to blog. I want to blog more often but I don’t want to do it knowing I’m taking time away from the kids or Jack.

We’re probably going to end up buying the seasons on Blu-ray because I rarely understand something the first time. I’m not stupid, I just easily get distracted. Ok maybe a little slow at times… I don’t know, the more I mature, the more I realize I really don’t know much. I’m always learning. Well, let me be the proof that smarts or no smarts, if you’re determined, you can make things happen.

I just came back from upstairs, A1 was crying hysterically, her knee hurt. “Growing pains” as we call them. I gave her some Tempra, much lower than the recommended dose; a small dose combined with placebo effect goes a long way. I also tied a scarf around her knee. Doing that helps lessen the pain (in my books anyways), it’s like rubbing your pain, activating the sensation of touch around your pain helps lighten the message of pain to the brain by keeping your nerves busy with another signal, kind of like distracting your brain from the pain.

Today, my parents watched the kids while Jack and I went to see a play. We got there late and missed the first 15 minutes of the play. I want to take the time to write about this play, so I’m going to do it in a post on its own.

“Structure” remember ?…

But this play does deserve a post on its own.

Episode is ready.

“Valar morghulis” to all fellow Game of Thrones fans.

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Talking poop

Finally ! Some down time.

Jack is finally watching tonight’s game. It’s recorded so that he can watch it peacefully once the girls are sleeping. Last time we watched a game together, I asked too many questions and then really aggravated him when I said that the opposite team seem to be better skaters. “They glide better” I said, while our team was losing 5 to 1. Needless to say, I learned a new lesson.

Note to self: Do not say anything negative about the team during a bad game.

In fact, I should’ve stuck with simply not talking to him during the game. What was I thinking?

He was so emotional about it… jeez.

I’ve also learned that to keep our marriage happy I should only say half of the things I’m thinking to say. A less talkative me makes a much happier him.

Poor him he’s got 3 more to deal with, and they all seem to be growing up to be as talkative as me.

Today at the dinner table, A1 asked “Next time I sleep at granma’s I’m going to make cookies, do you think that’s a good idea, a bad idea, a very good idea, a very bad idea, a very very bad idea or a very very good idea?”

Waaaaaaaa? Again we just stand there without an answer. We lost you after “cookie” kid!

Last time at dinner, conversation was about Elephant Poo. “Do you think the Elephant poops this much?” A1 shows the size of a pile, “Or this much?” she show’s a bigger pile. Jack answers “Thiiiiiiiiis muuuuuuuuch!” even A2 was participating to the conversation, after all it was mostly sign language, and poo is a word she knows well.

Poo is a word we know well too. You expect to have to deal with poop when becoming a parent, but no one tells you that it will end up in your hair, on your face and under your socks at least once at some point of the process. You better wish it happens sooner than later, because the older they get, the more real their poop gets. When they’re new born and only drink milk, it barely qualifies as poop, it’s more like mud. It doesn’t even smell all that bad. But when they’re all food group eating toddlers….ooof!

I remember, a long time ago, when my grandmother was changing my bratty little brother’s poopy diaper, he wouldn’t stay put. Poor woman was left in sweats by the time she managed to get him cleaned up. She grabbed a wipe to wipe her face only to realize she had just used the dirty poopy wipe on her face.

I was 8, I laughed so hard not knowing life had similar plans reserved for me…

If someone’s ever scared you by running after you with a Kleenex containing a squished spider, a dirty diaper filled with stinking, hot S&*% is good payback.

Well, I just spent 260 words talking about crap. That’s why blogs are so great, anything goes!

I think next time I’ll write about farts. Oh! So much to say!

Btw after the last post I went to check on the kids and found this.DSC04415 - Copy

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Hockey vs Hormones

Kids are asleep and Jack’s watching the game.

This morning when I changed A3’s diaper, half a pretzel came out of it. How did it get there? Probably A2’s doing. I felt really bad, imagine spending the night with a sharp edged piece of Pretzel in your underwear.pretzel

I’ve had my loved ones worry about me after the last post Face your fears and look inside. There’s nothing to worry about, I think I’m on the right track by being conscious of it all.  It being how I feel, what I think…

We’re all pretty fragile if you think about it. What are emotions? Emotions are a direct result of non-other than chemistry, hormones and neurotransmitters …

“It’s normal, you just had three kids”

Yes it’s normal that my body is out of balance and that it leaves me feeling anxious, and out of my usual self. It might be normal, but I don’t want it. I want to be in control of my own emotions and feelings.

I better learn to do what I need to do before menopause comes along with 5 times more chemical imbalances and makes me go completely insane for good. If you’ve ever felt cranky or moody because of your period cycle, because you’ve been overworked or because of lack of sleep, then you’re in the exact same boat as me, letting your body influence your mood.

Since men naturally don’t experience many drastic hormonal shifts in their life time, they are more stable in this perspective. I look at Jack, and seems like all he needs to relax and unwind is watching a good game of Hockey.

We went to a game last Saturday; it practically felt like a religious gathering.  21 273 people gathered, uniting their thoughts and positive energy towards the same goal and chanting is unison… If Hockey matters to these people as much as is matters to Jack, then it practically is a religion. In the end isn’t it the role of religion to bring beings to peace, tame their worries and bring them closer together?

This is what I was thinking about during the game… then I started staring at the building’s structure and started to worry about its stability and where we should head in case of an emergency…

Do we ever stop worrying?!

All this to say, I am now conscious of the effect of physical life events on my inner self and I want to gain full control of it. I want to be who I am no matter what hormonal phase of my life I’m in, no matter how much sleep I’ve had and no matter how much stress this life throws my way.

How? Not sure yet …

But I’ll find a way.

P.S A great win for our team tonight. Extra yey for me!

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Face your fears and look inside

“Face your fears” is what I’ve been telling myself lately.

The older I get, the more I get to know myself. Maturing I guess.

Last week, I went out with some girlfriends to see a band play in a bar. Place was packed, probably over 100 people present. After a short chat with the singer of the band, she decided to call me up on stage before they started playing to “Say a few words”. I hadn’t planned anything; I just went up there and winged it. I don’t remember everything that I said; we were in a bar after all and had been drinking. I just know that the first thing I said was “Hi I’m Julie and I have 3 kids!”

Great intro for a rock band!

I continued babbling things… tried to pump the crowd… told the ladies in the audience they should get their bras signed by the band members…

What was I thinking? I don’t know! I was just having fun. When I sat back down some of my friends were looking at me like “What just happened?” and some that have come to know this side of me had a “No surprise here” kind of face. One of them turned to me and told me “Julie, you’re the most fearless woman I know”.

And believe it or not, that comment’s been in my head since then.

I am not fearless; I am the most fearful person I know. I am scared of everything.

It’s easy to let fear guide you. It will guide you towards safety. No risks, no taking chances, no experimenting… is that what we want?

Believe it or not that’s exactly the dilemma I’m living right now. I have fears in me… should I face them? Or just go towards whatever is safer…after all I have 3 kids.

I can’t imagine what you are thinking reading this. You’re probably think I’m a complete nut job. Well lately that’s what I’ve been thinking too. Ever since I gave birth to A3 my mind has changed. Ok, it’s not that it’s changed; it’s as if it’s always been the same but I’m just starting to realize what it’s like.

Maybe 3 kids are what it took to get me to start looking on the inside. I look on the inside and I get scared.

That tells me there’s a lot of work to be done there.

I’ve been stressed out all morning…with all these thoughts in my head. Now that I’m writing it all out, it’s making more sense. I guess this blog does help channel my stress. I know I knew this before, because I’ve mentioned it in a previous post. But it still seems like I just realized it now.Basically, I do feel better now after having written this.

Some people have the ability to center themselves and work on their inner self. Others need something to shake them and wake them up to start doing so. And most will go on with life never making this realization…

I think I’m being woken up right now.

It’s taken a lot for me to even start thinking about these things… a lot has happened to me in the past 5 years and now I’m finally learning about life.

All these thoughts running through my head ever since A3.I’ve thought it to be many things; maybe they are symptoms of baby blues? Maybe the baby blues combined with the winter blues? Maybe I’m a bit depressed? Maybe these hormones are making me crazy? Maybe I’m becoming a soft bipolar?

Or maybe this life is over whelming and I just need to calm down and learn to relax.

“You need to take good care of yourself, so you can take care of others.” They say, and they are right.

It’s more than taking care of my body and mind….

I need to take care of my soul.

P.s If you think I’ve lost my marbles…wait till you find out what I googled today. (Well one person already knows, and it’s not Jack)

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Shhh! There’s a finger in the baby’s ear.

Jack’s watching the game, A1’s painting, A2’s talking in her crib and A3’s sleeping on the couch right next to me. I can hear the neighbour’s dog barking; a little one with a loud voice that barks at air, right outside A2’s window. That’s probably why she’s not sleeping.

A1 suddenly asks:

“Mom, are we poor?”

“Can you hear what I’m thinking?”

And while I stare at her with a thousand thoughts in my head, she adds “What are you looking at?”

What? I don’t know what to think. First of all, I never thought I’d have to deal with a pre-teen attitude so early on. Second of all, one question at a time. Well, I shouldn’t talk, if she’s anything like me, there’s no such thing as one at a time. Why do they only pick up our negative traits?

“Don’t run, you’ll fall!”  My father use to yell out every time I ran. If you saw the way I run you would be worried too. It’s a kind of running with inappropriate arm gestures and unequal steps. Now, that’s imprinted in my head, and every time I run, I fall.  This week as A1 was running, her godfather yelled out “Don’t run you’ll fall!”. I saw her run… like mother like daughter.

I just told A1 that it’s bed time. She yelled out “No!” with a little stomp in her foot. I can’t even get mad at her. I know I should… or shouldn’t I ? I don’t even know… She’s painting, in peace, alone, without A2 pulling on her hair and taking her things. I’ll let her be…

What’s more important, an obedient daughter or an understanding mother?

Poor A3, four months old, has seen more chaos than some people have seen in a lifetime.  Last week she got woken up by A2 pulling off her blanket and tickling her feet! “ Giddi, giddi, giddy” she said.

A1 just got up and did a tap dance.

“Shhhh your sisters are sleeping!”

I know with experience that the sound “Shhhhhhhh” is one of the loudest sounds you can make. Especially when you’re aggravated and are trying to express your anger towards the noise but can’t make any noise yourself.  It’s happened so many times that the “Shhhh” wakes the baby after the noise has already been made.

A3 just went downstairs. Its way past her bed time and Jack is surprised to see her still up. He’s yelling for me “Julie!”… I can’t yell back! A3’s sleeping right next to me!! I have to get up.

…Ok, I’m back. A1’s in bed.

Earlier, when A2 was still awake, I was rocking A3, she was crying hysterically because she couldn’t sleep in all the noise. I took her away from the family room into the living room. I rocked her to sleep but she was waking up every time the kids would make a sound. So as I was rocking her I stuck my finger in her ear. Her other ear was blocked because she was leaning on me. As soon as she seemed to fall asleep…Along came A2 wobbling on over, with a chocolate chicken in her hand. That chocolate chicken that I gave her and got in trouble for by Jack “Why are you giving her chocolate before bed time ?”

Oh my! I just realized that’s why she’s not sleeping and talking in her crib. It’s not the dog at all!

So, I was rocking A3 with my finger in her ear, when A2 came over with chocolate all over her hands and face. She came closer and closer. All I was thinking was please not the living room couches! I was torn! Should I call out for Jack at the risk of waking A3 up or stay quiet and let A2 ruin the couches?

What’s more important clean couches or a baby’s peaceful sleep?

I whispered “Jack!”, he didn’t hear me…  How could he, he’s way over in the kitchen. After a few seconds he came looking for chocolate covered A2 and took her away.

A few minutes later, she escaped from him again. This time I saw her going straight for the stairs. “Jack” I whispered… nothing.

What’s more important a baby’s peaceful sleep or a toddler’s safety?

I called out for Jack and woke A3 up.

Back to square 1.

Btw we use an upside down storage bin as a coffee table and the top of the blender as a pitcher… maybe that’s why she asks if we’re poor…DO YOU BLAME HER?

Home team won tonight. Jack will be in a better mood.

Yey for me !

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Be real and do your laundry

After a very long day, kids finally asleep, sunken deep into the basement couch, we realize we forgot to bring down the baby monitor. Who’s going to go get it?

I am. Be right back.

You can’t really argue over this one… every moment that passes counts. What if baby’s crying and we can’t hear her because we’re wasting time arguing about who’s going to go upstairs to get the monitor. Now that I did this one, he’ll have to do the next thing that comes up. With 3 kids in the house anything could come up any time.

Later when the washer stops I’ll ask him to empty the washer into the dryer. Last time he did, I heard him yell from the washroom “For once I’d like to open the washer and find MY clothes in there!”

It’s true, it’s never his laundry. It’s always the girls’ pink laundry.

Jack’s yelling at the TV again. Good thing I’ve got this blog. What else would I be doing while he watches the game?

What do the wives and girlfriends of the world do while the guys are watching the game? I’m sure some really enjoy it and others only pretend… Let’s not go there.

Well a confident woman doesn’t need to pretend about anything. Life is too short to pretend anything. We should focus on being real. Reality has become a rarity and it’s sad.

So our deal is I blog while he watches the game. That’s why I hope our team goes to the playoffs.

From laundry, to pretending, to hockey. “You need more structure in your texts” someone once told me.

I need more structure in my head!

This is exactly how thoughts go through my mind, I go from topic to topic and it’s exhausting. If I’m exhausting myself with my thoughts imagine how it must be for Jack to hear me talk about everything that I’m thinking about. This kind of thought process combined with decreased memory is a complete disaster.

It’s all good with Jack as long as it’s not during the game.

It’s easy to keep a man happy.

Ouf! Big statement I just made there and I stand by it. Most men are clear about what they want and don’t want. Now whether or not we have the will to allow it…well that’s another thing.

Note I wrote “Most men”. I know a few men who seem pretty complicated from my point of view…

Games over, home team lost…

Got to go.

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What was I saying? Doesn’t matter, no one’s listening. Game’s on.

Kids are asleep and Jack’s watching the game, perfect time to blog.

After 4 days of all the kids being home, the house looks like a war zone. The good thing about this is that if a robber breaks into our house he’ll think that this house has already been robbed. Everything is on the floor! Cleaning will have to be for another day because I’m beat!

This tiredness is unlike any other, it feels like finally getting home after a long trip and then having to do it all over again, right away without any rest, then again and again for months and months,  years and years…

“Take it day by day” I hear.

I’m trying, I’m learning to not think too far ahead, but it’s hard. I can’t help but worry about everything. I guess you’ve got to take it day by day for the sake of sanity alone. Kind of like a prison sentence I guess…

“Did she just call motherhood a prison sentence?!”

No, that can’t be right. They let you sleep in prison. Well, in this country anyways.

Lately, my memory is shot and worse than ever. It helps to have taken pictures of everything because it helps me remember what we did. Easter weekend, a lot of dressing up, we usually spend our weekends in pyjamas. Not this weekend! I’ll have to look at the pictures to know what we actually did. It’s scary how quickly we all forget everything. What did you have for lunch yesterday? Can you remember?

It doesn’t count! You remember because it was Easter and you were out.

What did you do Friday night?

Well ?

I sure don’t have a clue!

Maybe I’m the only one? Where am I going with this?

I have to move, Jack’s looking for the remote. Jack’s always looking for something. Where are my glasses?  Where are my dentures?  Where is my toothbrush?  You would think he’s an 80 year old man.

Jack just asked: Why are you laughing by yourself?

He looked over and saw I wrote “Dentures”.

Jack: What are you doing? Don’t write that!

Me:  (hiding the screen) Just let me write what I’m thinking before I forget, then I’ll let you read, and we’ll post it if it’s ok with you.

(If you can read all this it means he approves)

What was I saying? The good thing about a blog is that you can read back and know what you were saying. Let me look back.,,

Oh ya, dentures. He calls his mouth guard dentures. He sleeps with that thing because he grinds his teeth at night. A1 does too, in the worse kind of way. It sounds like she’s cracking candy with her teeth all night.

I’ve got to say, I can’t blame him for losing his toothbrush. A2 has a thing for toothbrushes, she’s attached to them just like some kids are attached to blankets or stuffed animals. We’ve bought her a few toothbrushes; she always has one with her but she keeps losing them. So we’re always looking for her toothbrushes.

Basically we’re all always looking for something. I sometimes find myself walking around the house looking for something, and having to stop because I can’t remember what I was looking for.

So when A2’s throwing a fit and I have to give her a toothbrush and can’t find any of hers I give her Jack’s.

Jack: Where’s my toothbrush?

Me: I’m not sure…maybe in the car?

Right this moment Jack’s getting mad at me because he’s been talking to me and it seems I wasn’t listening. I was busy writing about his toothbrush.

It’s ok, he does this to me all the time. Just earlier, while he was watching the game:

Jack: Where are my glasses?

Me: In our bedroom, behind the curtain of the middle window. Hello? Are you listening?

Jack nods while frozen standing in front of the TV : ya ya

Me: I just told you where your glasses are, you didn’t listen and now I’m going downstairs.

Jack: Wait! Where you going? I asked you where my glasses were?!

Me: Why do you ask a question if you’re not going to listen to the answer?

Jack: Huh? Leave me alone, I’m watching the game!

While he squints at the screen because he can’t see properly without his glasses.

Yesterday while we were driving home from somewhere…I don’t remember where, I would have to check the camera to remember. I asked Jack:

“What’s the most important thing a girl that doesn’t know anything about hockey, should know?”

His reply was something like this:

“First thing’s first. Names, teams, numbers, dates don’t matter. All she needs to know is not to bother the guy during the game. No talking, no arguments and especially no turning off the TV during the game!”

I did that once, I turned the TV off while he was watching the game. Not only that, I pulled the plug off the digital cable box so that it can take time to reload…yes…evil…I know.

We were newlyweds then, I’ve learned a lot since then. I would never do that today. I’ve learned to leave him alone during the game, and I wait for intermissions to talk to him. Unless he asks me where his glasses are!!

I mostly blog while he watches the game, this way I don’t bother him. Then at the commercials he starts talking to me and gets mad if I’m not listening…

Ok games over. We won. Jack will be in a good mood tonight.

Yey for me!

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Princess vs Princess

Easter long weekend is ahead, bitter sweet. I’m already feeling guilty for calling it  “bitter”. What kind of mother describes time with her own children as bitter? I did also say “sweet”. I won’t explain the sweet part: kids, cute, love, bla bla bla. I know, you know, we all know.

The bitter part? 4 days of complete mayhem.  No bathroom break, no nothing! You gotta  go? You go. But you leave the door open, you stay on duty (literally and figuratively) and you pray that they’ll leave you alone.

Today, as I was…Hmm.

I don’t think I’m ready to go there… if I start with our bathroom stories who knows what will come next…

So lately Jack and I have been having the same argument over and over again. Every time A1 cries he starts “This is your fault, she’s a softy and it’s because you brain wash her with your  Disney movies, she has to learn to be strong, and defend herself”.

Umm! Hello! Mulan went to war, (that’s a strong reply) Pocahontas dove from a cliff (ok, good but not so great), Jasmine left the palace walls (big deal, all she did was try out normal life for one day), Cinderella… hmm.. Did nothing and waited for her prince charming to solve all her problems. Come to think of it same goes for Aurora and Snow white. Ok fine! He might be right.

You read right Jack! You are RIGHT.

He wants her to watch Shera the Princess of Power.

I’ve never ever seen an episode. We could give it a try, after all she’s a princess too.

We can add that to this weekend’s activity list. We could watch Shera after we take down the Christmas decorations.

shera

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Bump in the Night (Scary things kids do at night)

3 A’s are all asleep, Jack is in the basement cursing at the hockey game. How emotionally involved do you have to be to actually stand out of your seat and yell at the TV screen?  I can’t imagine myself doing that.

I’m sitting in the family room in the dark and A3 is falling asleep next to me on the couch. I’m typing away, I look up, I see a shadow, and my heart skips a beat.

It’s A1, just standing there staring at me.

Me: What are you doing? You scared me!

A1: I can’t sleep, what are you doing? Blog? Move I want to watch.

Me: Move? What move? Go upstairs back to bed. Or else… Or else, I won’t let you wear your pink shoes with your Easter dress and you’ll have to wear your black shoes!

A1: No!!! Plz!

She’s finally asleep, after “but I’m thirsty”, “but I need to pee”, then “Oh I forgot I already went to pee”, “but this pyjama makes me sweat” and tonight we have a new one “But these socks are too tight!”

Lately she’s been pulling this “I can’t sleep” sneaking up business. She’s so damn quiet! She scares the living crap out of us every single time. I get scared very easily, my imagination has a life of its own. That’s why I don’t watch scary movies.

 One night, a couple of years ago, in the middle of the night we heard a loud noise coming from A1’s bedroom. It woke us up “What the hell is that noise?” we wondered and quickly went to check it out.

OMG! Jack’s yelling at the top of his lungs! He’s going wake the whole house! What the hell is happening in that hockey game? (Sorry that was a side note)swing

What was I saying? Oh yeah, we went to see what was happening.  The baby swing that was set up in her room was swinging by itself, in the dark, in the middle of the night. It was the scariest thing. It kept swinging and swinging, harder and harder making a lot of noise. We were speechless just staring into that dark room. We thought surely, this house is haunted. We quickly turned on the light!

We looked at A1’s bed, it was empty!

We look back at the moving swing and we see A1 behind it, pushing wildly with all her might and a little doll neatly secured into the swing seat. She kept going for a few more seconds then suddenly stopped and went back into her bed without saying a word.

 Kids can be so spooky sometimes!

P.S I did well today: 3 meals, some exercise, even a short session of meditation.

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No more excuses!

Time has come for me to make changes in my current daily life. I don’t eat enough, I stress too much, I am insomniac, partly because of the kids but mostly because of my thoughts that don’t stop and keep me awake all through the night! I’m in such lack of sleep that I have a constant shake in my hands and my left eye is twitching, not any kind of twitch, a really strong one…it looks like I’m winking at everybody and everything. This needs to stop, before I get new problems…wink wink

“What are you stressing about?”

Everything!

I’ve realized that I’ve been stressing for the past 4 months ever since A3’s been born. It’s time for me to take back control of my health. I want to be healthy, and take care of my family for a long long time.

I’ve learned quit a bit about myself lately. I thought of myself as a laid back, no stress, take it as it comes, go with the flow kind of person. And I was, but not lately.  Lately I’m always thinking and I’m always worried. I have to relax and learn to take things as they come, like I use to.

Sometimes I think that I was wiser when I was younger. The older I get the more the hormones and the stress get to me. I can’t let them win!

Today, is day one of Operation get the real Julie back. 

Lately I’ve been over thinking things, I don’t know how yet, but this must stop. I guess admitting I have a problem is the first step? I’ve been skipping meals, ever since A3’s been born I’ve gone full days without anything to eat… and then I wonder why my breast milk supply ended.

No more excuses! Yes I have 3 kids but it was my choice and I can’t use them as an excuse to not be healthy! ( Well, not really by choice…by luck…if you know what I mean)

3 meals a day from now on!

Spring is here, I need to get out and get moving.

And for the over thinking and anxiety… maybe I should pick up meditation?  I’ve tried it a few times, at home with an online video… a bit scary at first for an over imaginative mind like mine, but definitely effective.

Now that I’ve put this action plan out in public, I can’t go back on my word. (Hopefully)

And just maybe, after all of this…I’ll have the energy to keep my house organized. But that’s a long shot!

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+++ Why you shouldn’t clean if you want your kids to be calm

It’s the afternoon. I have A2 and A3, A1 is not home from school yet. It’s the first time that I blog while A2’s awake. Not only that, it’s the first time I actually have the laptop out while she’s around.

A3’s in ++++++++a chair and A2’s wobbling around. Every time she comes near A3 to give her a +++++++–kiss all stops and I watch her every move in fear.

Those plus and minuses are from A2, she passed by and pressed on those keys.

They’re both calm right now. Anyone who sees this post and knows the state of my home might think “Instead of blogging you should’ve picked up the mess”.

The room is completely quiet; all we hear is A2’s toy singing. Everything sings in this house. I am sitting down next to them quietly typing away. Now if I were to start picking stuff up, washing dishes or cooking.+++++++++++++++ (Another visit)I would be moving around, making noise, water running, pots and pans clunking, I would be creating a different mood.++++ (A2)

I want them to be calm, so I should  create the atmosphere for it. Usually in the evenings, after supper time, I dim the lights and I actually put on Spa music. They can do as they wish, play, run, yell, but the background is this. I’ve learned this from my own mistakes, I use to leave the TV on, talk loud, clean up… Then I realized that all this noise was making them agitated.

It took me three kids to figure this much out.

A2’s back. She’s closing the laptop and yelling “NO!” … I gtg. She gave me enough alone time, now I’m going to go play!

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“Happens to me all the time” or ” this girl’s out of her mind”

Sometimes it takes me a long time to figure out something about myself. Once I do, I realize that I unconsciously already knew what I just figured out, and not only that, but have already moved towards the path I just figured out I should take.

Right now you’re either thinking “Happens to me all the time” or “This girl’s out of her mind”.

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Reactive or Proactive?

Why are articles on parenting so boring?  Why doesn’t anyone get to the point?  A2 has thrown a couple of  tantrums, the nasty kinds, down on the floor. Don’t judge me. A1 has always been such a civilized child I never thought I could have this little monster on my hands.

So I was reading an article on this in a parenting magazine. We do all of our reading in the bathroom, we have to maximize our efficiency if you know what I mean (if you’re going to be in the bathroom might as well learn something in the meantime). I read pages about children throwing tantrums, so much information… development phases, statistics, probable causes…Get to the point! What should I do if my child is on the floor, on her back, kicking her legs and banging her head?

Experts have a list of adequate interventions depending on the reason of your child’s outburst.

  • Related to lack of control (reactive)
  • Related to lack of means of expression (proactive)

So if you find yourself in this situation, say, in the middle of a grocery store, you should ask yourself : Reactive or Proactive?

Sounds so realistic, doesn’t it ?

And then out come the lists.

If it’s the reactive type, experts will  tell you :

  • Reassure your child
  • Give more specific directives
  • Situate them in time and space
  • Do not just tell them what’s forbidden, but what is permitted as well

Ok! so… (guessing it’s the reactive type) according to this list, this is what we should say:

“Honey, I love you, you’re safe, please stop jiggling on the floor, gently get up, be quiet, hold my hand, we are in the super market, it’s the after noon, it is not allowed for you to throw yourself on the floor but it is allowed to walk by mommy’s side”

Ya…I don’t think so…thank you Mr. and Mrs. experts. Thank you for nothing.

Sometimes I feel like those articles and even some books about parenting are written just to be written. As if it was one expert talking to another.

Hello! We’re here!

I could be considered  as one of those experts (well on paper anyways), I’ve read about all this stuff,  it definitely  doesn’t mean I know exactly what to do in every scenario. I don’t appreciate  fancy phrases and lists to dictate what a parent should do in a specific case as if it’s something  so obvious.

I have studied this stuff and have 3 kids of my own and this article doesn’t help me out one bit, how is it suppose to help anyone else?  I wonder if any of these experts have truly been in that situation or any of the situations they talk about for that matter.

Now I’m all worked up.

I’ll tell you, if you find yourself in that situation, first of all don’t think about what other people are thinking. Don’t be embarrassed, they don’t matter. Focus on yourself and your child, do what you would’ve done if you were home. I personally just stand still next to my child with my back turned to her.Ignoring her, while  staying close to ensure her safety. I give her time to get it out of her system, after about 10 to 20 seconds I gently tend to her. I hold my arms open for her (like asking for a hug), I repeat “it’s ok” I carry her and kiss her and tell her that it’s ok again.

I’m hardly ever angry at them, I’m mostly trying not to laugh in front of them when they’re doing something wrong.

Might be wrong, might be right but it works for me.

Never worry about what people are thinking. Focus on what’s important.

With that said, we went to the mall this past weekend. A2 had a baby leash and it was a great experience.

“It’s a child! Not a dog!”

Exactly, same way I wouldn’t want to lose my dog…I don’t want to lose my child!

leash

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